Published by JPLand on 25 Jan 2008 at 01:14 pm
Buckle Your Seatbelts
Ladies, Gentlemen, and other random web-type persons, let me welcome you aboard today’s ride. I’m your captain and I’ll be helping you navigate the shallow waters of the thought pool. What’s that? Oh, no, you silly person, we don’t go too deep here…no, there are other blogs and columns that do that. And besides, it’s dangerous out there. We’ll be staying close to the shores.
My hope is that our little adventure will help us all to learn to laugh at ourselves. And by “ourselves” I mostly mean “you” because I don’t want people laughing at me. For those of you snickering in the back, I’ll have you know that Bermuda shorts and a floral-patterned shirts are all the rage in remote villages south of Guatemala. And this tan line on my ankles is actually considered a symbol of royalty.
Now, if you please, make sure that all flotation devices are properly inflated, have your cameras ready, and we’ll get started. If we lose anyone along the way, don’t worry. That’s the reason we stay in the shallow end. (well, that and the fact that I couldn’t find an insurance company that would cover me.)
Queen Kelley on 25 Jan 2008 at 2:05 pm #
Wow. So here you are. I’m not sure if I want to get in the boat or not. (: Then again, it will certainly be quite an interesting ride. Some of the choppiest waters are closest to shore, after all! Be assured that your dear wife, Queen Kelley, will be checking in every day, if only to snicker at your grammatical mistakes. (See above.) (See it?) (Fixed it?) (Good.) (Oh, and I love you.)
JPLand on 25 Jan 2008 at 2:21 pm #
Grammatical errors - fixed!
smarty-pants comments from wife - blocked!
alright…anything else before we get going?
jwalk on 25 Jan 2008 at 6:48 pm #
Just wanted to point out one more unfixed grammatical error, just for the fun of it!
“…Bermuda shorts and a floral-patterned shirts are all the rage…”
l—————————-l
I promise that’s the last time i’ll correct you, I just couldn’t contain myself.
Now I think you’re ready to move on!
JPLand on 25 Jan 2008 at 8:42 pm #
That reminds me of a song I once heard. It went something like
“nobody likes JWalk…la, la….” well, you get the hang of it.
I’ll work on a post in the future that explains that grammar is for losers and math is for all the cool people.
Caity on 26 Jan 2008 at 12:52 am #
It’s about time you found your own place to write things. Just sayin….
JPLand on 26 Jan 2008 at 7:01 am #
Don’t make me write a second verse to my song….
Queen Kelley on 26 Jan 2008 at 8:56 am #
Wow, jwalk. Can’t believe I missed that one. I’m falling down on the job.
jwalk on 26 Jan 2008 at 10:22 pm #
Yeah, Kelley, I was a little disappointed. I guess those kids are taking up too much of your time, get your priorities straight!!!
John, thanks for writing a song about me! That’s probably the first one ever written about me, so I’ll take it regardless of the apparent sarcastic undertones. I’ve always felt that undertones are good for a song anyway.