Shallow Thinker

While recently watching the television, I happened to notice a commercial for the Toyota Sequoia. (And yes, I tried to find a link to the commercial, but no such luck). At any rate, the commercial shows a bunch of people rolling down a hill in these hug plastic balls called a “zorbs.” The people have fun rolling down the hill and then they drive these big hamster balls back to the top of the hill and repeat the process.

My guess is that Toyota desires to show how fun and powerful this vehicle can be. In order to do that, they show video of a Sequoia pulling a trailer with two zorbs on it. These zorbs are giant plastic balls filled with air. They’re not made of wood or marble and they’re not filled with lead or bricks. Heck, they’re not even filled with feathers. It’s basically the equivalent of pulling a trailer with a couple of pillows on it.

So, America, if you want to buy a vehicle that can easily haul an empty trailer up a hill….I found one for you!

I don’t have many pet peeves. I just have a few broad ones that cover a lot of different issues. Today I was able to experience one of my favorites.

I took the morning off to help take the girls in to the doctor. (They’re on the upswing now, thanks for asking.) Once we got home and got them started eating lunch, I headed out to work. As luck would have it, a nice little monsoon visited the interstate for most of my ride to work. And when it rains, it never fails…I always see somebody doing this…most times more than one or two.

There, in the left lane, some person has turned their hazard lights on and is traveling about 25 miles per hour. First, let’s address the flashers. NO, don’t do it!! I can see you!! When it rains, you should have your headlights on…not your flashers. If your headlights don’t work and you’ve turned the hazards on for “safety”, then your car is a mobile safety concern regardless of the rain! And I’m not sure on this, I’ll have to check with a local law enforcement official, but I’m pretty sure that you’re not supposed to have your hazard lights just because it’s raining. And why in the world are you in the left lane going so slow! MOVE OVER! Just because your tires are bald and slip more than a panda bear on ice skates doesn’t mean that mine are. (I’m assuming that a panda on ice skates would slip a lot….though you could probably teach one to skate….so I guess I’m referring to a panda bear with no prior ice skating experience….and I should probably mention that he’s on ice, too….ice skates in the grass wouldn’t be too bad….and the ice would need to be a smooth slick layer….not rough and uneven….rough and uneven ice would give the panda bear a decent grip and for the purposes of this illustration, would not provide a sufficient slip factor) If you really, sincerely have to drive that slow and you have to have your hazard lights on….PULL OFF THE ROAD!!

This announcement is a service of the Pet Peeve System. Our next PPS broadcast will cover writing a check when you use the self-service line at a store. Are you kidding me? You’re in a line designed to make this whole check-out process go faster because you don’t have to interact with the cashier, yet you choose a method of payment that requires you to do so. Next time I’m just ramming my buggy into the back of your knees!!

About a week ago, my little ladybug (10 months old) woke up during the night vomiting. The poor little thing had no idea what was going on. But, fortunately for us, she didn’t know that being sick isn’t supposed to be fun. So as we monitored her into the wee hours of the morning, she squealed with delight and enjoyed the attention that she was receiving. Thankfully, the sickness bug passed by ladybug relatively quickly.

Unfortunately, the sickness bug did not pass butterfly (3 years old) so rapidly. All day Saturday and Sunday were spent without the ability to hold any food down. She wanted so desperately to play, but could only muster the strength for me to carry her around. “Daddy…” insert those sad eyes that I can’t resist “…I think I just want you to carry me around for a little while.” So, I’ve paced our house enough to know where all of the creaks in the floor are and mentally note several things that I need to do for repairs.

So yesterday, butterfly was so full of energy when I got home from work. Truly a changed girl. She played and colored with such passion…and such volume. And then the sun went down. As night fell, so did butterfly’s demeanor. She got sick again and we spent a couple of hours holding her and trying to comfort on two different occasions during the night. Today, she had been fatigued and slightly whiny. On top of that, ladybug is not happy with this process we call teething and lets us know it as audibly as she can.

At times like this, life begins to pile it on - whining, sickness, vomiting, clinging, crying, squealing, work, messy rooms, more vomiting, restless nights…and then the words of Jesus ring in my head “I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly“.

With every sickness comes a child that wants nothing more than to cling to me and let me walk her across the floor until her body sinks beneath the weight of sleep. With every sleepless night comes an amazing surge of energy from my wife and we realize how blessed we are to have each other and how well we work as a team. This truly is a life more abundant.

This past weekend wasn’t exactly what I’d write down as “funnest weekend ever.” Of course, the previous post explains part of that. But, there were a couple of other reasons to compound the situation. I may post about them later, but to be honest it would probably come off as a sappy story from a doting father. Maybe Queen Kelley can use her magical writing powers to make it into another one of her poetic posts. But lets get back to talking about me!

I was finally able to lay out on the couch and put my feet up in time to watch the second half of the Super Bowl. And that’s when I really started to feel the weekend in my knee. Since I had a few minutes to relax and some random cream laying around, I decided to test the effects of BenGay on my knee. If you’re unfamiliar with what it does, you should know that another common name for this type of ointment is IcyHot. It basically gives a warm-soothing sensation to the areas where it is applied….and then it turns into a raging flame that feels as if it will completely remove your skin and portions of your bones. So naturally, everyone likes it.

So there I was on the couch watching the end of the game and applying the miracle elixir to my knee. And then I had a thought….”I really need to wash my hands and then use the bathroom.”

Looking back, I probably should have done them in that order.

The great writers who have gone on before, and many who will follow after, have often used the seasons to symbolize life. One of the best examples of this symbolism is a song that my wife has performed beautifully in worship service called Every Season (words and music by Nichole Nordeman). But no matter the author nor the medium in which they present their art, winter always represents death and it is followed swiftly by the hope and new life of spring.

I must confess that I feel the coldness of winter in my life. This weekend brings with it the cold, bleak reality that I have experienced the passing of another season….another wonderful season….another joy-filled, emotionally-uplifting, football season. *sigh* This hurts because football is my friend. I love football, no matter how it comes to me. High School, College, Professional, Pee-Wee, Flag, Table top, Madden ‘08….you name it. I’m addicted.

So as the New England Patriots try to carve their name into history, the New York Giants will be countering every blow….and I will be soaking it all in. I may laugh at the commercials, but it is not joy that I feel. I may gorge myself on chicken wings, but only because I must. And that fourth brownie I eat will be my futile attempt to chase away the pain that Monday will bring.

Football, I will miss you. Please come back to me soon.

With this unwavering commitment and my deep passion for this game, there is only one thing that can fill the deep void in my soul…college basketball. I love basketball…

One of my favorite singers, Justin McRoberts, has a song that starts “I feel the wear in my knees from the weight of time…” And then the song goes on to say other things, which I’m sure are very important, but my brain has been stuck on that line for about the past 4 years. That’s because about that time ago I started really having some trouble with my knees. After ignoring my wife’s advice for 6 months, I went to the doctor and was told that I have arthritis in my knees. (I’m 28 now, so that means I must have been about 26 then…right?). I was pretty sure that my doctor was mistaken. I am a young buck in the prime of my life….but sure enough, the signs were all there.

I, being inquisitive and all, decided to find out what was actually going on in my knees, how it could have happened, and all that stuff. Basically, I’ve worn out some of the cartilage between a few bones. But I’m so young, how could this have happened? And then it hit me…My high school coaches are to blame. I was fortunate(?) enough to go to a small school where I played football and ran track. And every day I was told to run, run, run, and then run some more. And of course, I always had to run a little extra for disciplinary purposes, but those were always well worth it. But basically, I was such an athlete in high school that I wore out my knees. (See, that’s why I didn’t go on to play football in college or the pros…I was just too good too early.)

At any rate, there is a moral for this story that I think each of you should know. Exercise is nothing but trouble. That’s right. Professional athletes are all the time breaking bones, tearing ligaments, or fracturing pinky toes. I’ve never heard of a librarian spraining an eyeball from reading too hard. How many times have you torn your ACL by sitting in a Lay-Z-Boy watching American Gladiators? Me either. So statistically speaking, you’re much safer being lazy and doing nothing.

So pass me some of those chips and a frosty beverage while I sit here and try not to get arthritis in any of my other joints. In fact, it might help my elbows out if you could just put those chips directly into my mouth for me.

Special Nerd Link Information - Clicking on Justin’s picture will open a demo player where you can listen to samples of his songs. The song referenced above is titled “Ready When You Are” and is track 3 on the “Father” CD.  I recommend the album “Intersections” and “Untitled EP” with a warm cup of coffee, a nice fire in the fireplace, and a plate of nachos. It’s very cozy.