Shallow Thinker

I recently received notice that the Run4Missions website has been updated in preparation for this year’s race. This served as a reminder to me that I’ve been getting a bit out of shape and need to regain my summer body. (Note: Summer body is very similar to Winter body, it just has more sunburn.) You see, it’s tradition, I have to get in shape to run the Run4Missions 5K. I’ve run every single Run4Missions 5K that has been held at Mt. Zion since it was brought over way back in 2006. I’m afraid that if I’m not there as a pillar within the race, it might crumble.

Let’s review. I have to run a race on May 3rd, and I’m out of shape. There’s only one thing to do. I have to get in shape. Well, actually, I could just eat my life away and sign-up as a phantom runner just to get the t-shirt, but I have a small amount of pride. At any rate, my training regimen started, and took a turn for the worse, this past Saturday.

Early in the afternoon, I put on my tight running shorts, a sleeveless t-shirt, and grabbed my Zune so that I could hear some tunes while I pounded the pavement. I started out of the driveway, down the road and a couple of turns later, I was out of the neighborhood.

There I was, happily running down Zebulon Road. I nodded as I encountered walkers, waved occassionally to the passing drivers…it was a good run. And it seemed that it wasn’t as bad as I’d remembered. Maybe I was actually in decent shape. (Must be all that basketball I’ve played on Playstation.) And then I turned the corner. Almost the entire portion of the run leading back to our subdivision was visible. Here’s my thought process:

Wow…I didn’t know that road was so steep….Hold on I’ve been running downhill most of the way thus far. Wait….I’m 2 miles from the house! Hey, did I bring my cellphone so that I can call the wife to pick me up?! Ah, crap, no cellphone…this is not good. I can see wolves off in the distance. Are those buzzards circling overhead? Who tied these cinder blocks to my legs? Can my heart actually fall out of my chest….feels like it could. Why is the world growing cold? Will my family miss me or will they be too busy enjoying the insurance money? If I would have known that lunch was the last meal that I would have with my family, I would have had a second helping…

Somehow, I managed to find my way back home. My legs still haven’t forgiven me for the atrocities that I put them through. All this because I’m too proud to just be a phantom runner? I guess pride really does go before the fall.