Shallow Thinker

For those of you who haven’t followed my every move on the internet, I have an alter-ego. By day, I’m a nerdy engineer solving the world’s problems. By night….I’m….well, I’m still a nerdy engineer. But on occasion, I become ZUPER JOHN!

If you’ve watched the videos that became an instant internet sensation*, then you’ll know that there’s not much that can stop Zuper John. Moving cars and roaring lions could not slow or scare this model of human endurance. With such power and strength, surely there is no match for Zuper John’s amazing internet and blogging skills. At least that’s what we thought…

This week I received an e-mail at work from the director of our business. It appears that during business hours, all personal internet use is to cease immediately. Those of you who know me know how valuable the internet is to me…especially during work hours. I do not know if I will be able to recover from this. I will try to be strong…I will try to keep the faith. I may have to call my friend who works in the sales office of Verizon and see if he can hook me up with some bandwidth to help me make it through the day.

Please, if you’re out there and reading this, please Help Zuper John survive. You can print webpages and mail them to me. Or maybe you can e-mail me a description of what you’ve just read on the internet. Please….anything….just don’t send me any hyperlinks….it’s too tempting to click them.

It’s getting dark in here….why am I so cold….oh, dear internet, how I miss you so…

* - “sensation” was identified by taking a census of those who indicated that they had seen the above mentioned videos. This census was taken among youth in the age range of 14-14.25 occupying a three square foot patch of carpet at Mt. Zion Baptist Church in Bolingbroke, GA on the third Sunday of April in 2007. He may have been lying to spare my feelings, but he said that he saw it.