Published by JPLand on 27 Apr 2008 at 07:47 pm
Skipping Out
Tonight, for whatever reason, I began to think about how I do some things different that the way my family did when I was growing up. Want to waltz with me down memory lane?
When I was growing up, our family attended church very regularly. If the doors were open, we were there…sometimes even when the doors weren’t open. Our Sunday routine was firm. Church in the morning,to the house for an enormous home-cooked lunch (I’m still not sure how my Mom did that.), homework or nap in the afternoon, and then put back on our “church clothes” and return for the evening service. Wednesdays were a little more rushed, but we were there when the service started at 7:30. As my siblings and I got older, we had a little bit of leeway on Wednesday nights depending on homework, but the default was church.
I’m not sure if it’s fatigue, rebellion, or apathy, but dating back to when I started college, I haven’t been a big attender on Sunday nights. The most convenient answer is that the work week creeps in early Monday. So I use Sunday nights to take a deep breath before the cycle starts again.
Perhaps the most compelling reason for me to stay home, though, is a bit of the guilt I have as a father. I’m gone for a majority of the hours that my girls are awake during the week. When I get home in the evening, I try to absorb as much of them as I can, but it’s never enough. Saturdays are usually spent trying to cram in all the things that we need to do as a family…usually involving fun and requiring exhaustion. Then on Sunday mornings, we devote ourselves to worship while others help teach our children some of the basic truths. The afternoon requires naps and rest, and then the evening service beckons us to come and be released right before bed time. I feel like I’m constantly splitting time between my girls (the Queen included) and all of them end up short-changed.
Sunday nights are a chance for me to have Ladybug 100% to myself. Butterfly loves and attends preschool choir and Kelley helps out with the children’s choir. If I went to the service, Ladybug would play contently in the nursery…but I would not sit contently in the pew. I value that hour as a chance to fully devote myself to Ladybug, to enjoy her giggles, welcome her hugs, and watch her personality blossom. I absolutely delight in her company.
So there, I admit it. I skip church. I guess I’m just not a good person….but Ladybug doesn’t mind.
Queen Kelley on 27 Apr 2008 at 7:57 pm #
In my completely unbiased opinion, Ladybug is definitely a delight. And, also my unbiased opinion, I think you’re the greatest husband/father I’ve ever been around. How blessed we are that you’re ours! There are many fathers who wouldn’t think twice about the time issues you’ve presented. I’m not glad that you feel guilty, but I’m thankful that your love for us is so strong that it pulls on you like that. I hope you know how much we love and treasure you too–and that the time you devote to us is well spent, even if exhausting!
Empress Katie on 27 Apr 2008 at 8:23 pm #
She does love her Da. So does Butterfly. Don’t worry about skipping Sunday nights, God doesn’t mind. After all, we don’t even have Sunday night services anymore, and we’re still alive and kicking.
DruU on 28 Apr 2008 at 6:52 am #
Thinker,
This is a Great Article… The balancing of all life events is always difficult. An hour of time with one of my Girls and no other interruptions is one of the most important things I can do. On top of the usual, one is at soccer practice so me and the other are eating an ice cream cone across the street from the field I try to find any opportunity for that “special date” I have what is a Date Night and unfortunately I miss it sometimes but Saturday nights are my Date night. This week is with the oldest - this is the most important one since she is getting to the age that she never wants to hang out with Dad anymore. Well, She doesn’t when there is something better to do, like stare at the wall.
Then Next week there is the Date with the Youngest, every moment with her is amazing, there have been times were we would go to the mall and sit on a bench while she just sings and tells me stories. (Its NY, it was cold until recently so the Mall is a great place to go for a walk)
Then the following week it is for me and the woman that usually watches the girls for me on the other Date nights. I love my kids but I do need a hour every once in a while to spend with an adult my age…
Then there is the following where I take my Mother out for a night.
As an Adult Man there are few Women in this world that will make you a better man or have made you the man you are… You Mother- never forget she still wants those special times with her son. Your Wife - You have chosen this person to help take on any battle with and every once in awhile you need to remember why, That one hour can do wonders for a married couple.
Your Daughters - Hey they love Daddy and always will, but they will eventually want to spend their time with others. Also even when the world gets rough a little time looking at dandelions a child picked for you can do wonders for stress relief.
I love God and visiting him at Church but I also think that God is up there seeing that spending time with the Women of my life is important to me and he continues to reward me, even if I do not make worship every time.
SweetSouthernBelle on 28 Apr 2008 at 7:24 am #
I think God wants us to spend time with our family and so often we get caught up in doing good stuff and forget about just “spending time” together. Just enjoy your one-on-one time with Ladybug and don’t feel guilty, a bit! I agree with the Queen, your a great dad!
Queen Mother on 28 Apr 2008 at 8:12 pm #
“Church” has been here in one form or another for about 2,000 years. Children are yours for the blink of an eye.