When I was in high school, I didn’t fair too well at the standard after school jobs. I worked for about 2 months at a clothing outlet store, but I was quickly bored with the rigors of making sure that all of the hangers were perfectly aligned. (Although, I did learn how to fold shirts and pants pretty well. If you’re interested in learning, maybe I’ll post about that someday…when I’m really, really bored.) So, my job became yard work. It started out as a “business” with my brother, but he went to college and I couldn’t handle the rigors of keeping 3 lawns cut all by myself. So, I went to work for a guy who had enough lawns to keep me happily employed through several summers. (I probably owe most of my current masculine physique to those long, hot days of riding across green lawns.) It wasn’t the most fun that I could have been having, but it was a job and I got paid at the end of every week.

Now, I’m all grown up and I absolutely love doing yard work…especially cutting the grass. I love to make the lawn look like a soft, green pallet of carpet. I’ll even spend extra time going back over certain spots so that it makes perfectly-aligned, light and dark stripes across the front yard. It would be the highest compliment to come out one morning to four guys teeing off in my front yard. “Sorry, sir, we could have sworn that this was a golf course.” Of course, I’d have to run them over with the green machine, but I’d be honored while doing so.

There’s this one tiny little problem with my love for lawn care….I have severe allergies (It helps with the whole “nerd” persona that I exude). For instance, if a cat has walks through our neighborhood, I’ll sneeze for about 15 minutes. Cutting the grass is essentially throwing a ton of allergens into the air and then me running around and inhaling them….over and over again.

I’ve tried taking Benadryl right before and right after cutting, but that only makes my allergies mad. And, of course, it makes me sleepy. That’s usually not good if I’m operating a machine with rapidly spinning sharp blades….though I suppose the neighbors might enjoy the show. I’ve also tried wearing a mask to prevent actually breathing-in the allergens. That’s OK now, but it becomes unbearable during the summer heat. The most important reason why I don’t do it, though, it because it just looks silly. I am at the height of grass-cutting fashion. I shall not be weighed down by silly masks.

So, for now, I’ll spend one day every two weeks making my grass look like Augusta National and then going through two boxes of kleenex. It’s a high price to pay for a pretty yard, but it all pays off when you run over your first golfer.