Shallow Thinker

Every summer, my employer holds an “Employee Appreciation Luncheon.”  It’s sneaky the way they do it.  Basically, instead of us getting any cool benefits, they give us a free meal. I fall for it every time.  The past few years have been hamburgers and hotdogs of unknown origin.  In order to maximize my company benefits, I’ve consumed as many as possible and I’ve spent the afternoon regretting it.  But this year was different.

Today around 11:00, the smell of Sonny’s Barbecue began to waft through the halls.  The meal wasn’t suppose to start until noon, but the old timers started lining up soon after the sun came up.  Not wanting to be outdone, the rest of us boycotted our work and formed our lines well before the designated time.

I decided a while back that I need to be much more careful what I eat.  My wife and several friends have prodded me into the proper direction and slowly, I’ve begun to slowly shift my dietary habits.  (Last night I even ate squash!)  So here I am, facing a table of pulled pork, smoked chicken, baked beans, cornbread, and some vegetable options that I completely ignored.  What’s right thing to do?  My employer wishes to thank me for another year of employment…I would be remiss if I rebuffed this kind gesture.  I wouldn’t want any bad blood between me and the planners of this great event.  I decided that I should suffer and eat some barbecue.

After I finished my second plate abounding with food, I decided that my employer most likely understood my commitment to our company.  I waddled slowly back to my office and plopped down in my chair.  Now I have to spend the rest of the afternoon fighting this urge to lay back and take a nap.  You know, I sure do devote a lot to this company.  I hope they appreciate the effort I’ve been through today to show my appreciation for their display of appreciation.  The good news in all of this is that my boss ate two plates.  I passed by his office a few minutes ago and his door is shut.  I don’t think he’s on a conference call, either…