Shallow Thinker

First, thanks to all of you who sent birthday greetings. To those of you who didn’t, there’s still time to send your cash in before I unleash my wrath.

My birthday weekend was pretty good. Friday started off slow with me having to go to work, but I did have the highlight of getting a phone call in which Butterfly sang “Happy Birthday” to me at the top of her lungs. When I got home, we had a small celebration after supper which included an apple-pie like dessert topped with ice cream.  I opened up the cards from family (I still need to call the grandparents…thanks for reminding me) that had arrived in the mail earlier in the week.  Kelley loves to open her cards as soon as they arrive.  I prefer to wait until the last thing on my birthday.  It’s more fun that way because it annoys Kelley.

My wife always gets me thoughtful gifts and this year was no exception.  For instance, I received a balloon-powered car that requires Butterfly and I to spend some time putting it together.  That’s a quality gift because it comes with quality time.  I also received a book from Butterfly.  She narrated a story which Kelley diligently wrote across several sheets of paper.  Buttefly then painted beautiful pictures to accompany each scene.  I would scan in the pictures and share them with you, but they’re mine and you can’t have them.  (Also, I’m too lazy to do it)

Saturday brought some fun sitting in the kidde pool with the girls, a nap, and an evening with friends.  Sunday had church, a peanut-butter dessert, and a cook-out with some other friends.  Across the whole weekend, I got to spoil and be loved by all three of my girls.  As I look back, I don’t think there’s anything at all that would have made the weekend any better.  I just hope that as I get old, I can remember how lucky and blessed I am.  I also want to remember where I put my pants, but that’s not really important until I need to leave the office.

Every once in a while, I do a bit of thinking.  This morning, for some odd reason, I pondered the motivational emphasis that is placed on certain dates.  Let’s take the first day of January as an example.  Everyone goes on a diet, joins a gym, or makes some other declaration to increase their well-being.  A new year is starting, so it’s a wonderful opportunity to get things going in a new direction.  Birthdays are similar.  It gives the individual a new number, so they start that year with some type of goal.  Strangely enough, as often as this method is used to motivate people, it’s also used as an excuse to be lazy.  “I’m going to start my diet next year.  But until then…”

I think a part of it is my wacky brain, but I’m really amused by the phenomenon.  Each day is someone’s birthday; therefore, a new year starts for someone out there.  Every day is the beginning of a new year.  If you want to better yourself, why wait until a particular mark on your calendar.  Make your new year start today.  But we could go even further (and we shall)  Each minute starts a new year….each second that ticks away starts a year which will end exactly one year from that moment.  Why do we feel the need to limit ourselves to a predefined location of the Earth in relation to the Sun?

So, today is the start of a new year.  I will not wait until my birthday to refine myself.  I start today.  I start this minute.  I start this second.  I’ll not be constrained by dates on a calendar or hands on a clock.  It all starts by eating that piece of pie that was supposed to wait until lunch.  Liberation is a wonderful thing!

6:24 AM - I wake-up.  Odd….I don’t hear either of the girls.  I get up, use the bathroom and return to bed.  I convince myself to close my eyes and rest.  Kelley continues her slumber.

6:35 AM - This is extremely out of the ordinary.  Butterfly hasn’t fluttered into our room, nor has ladybug called for us over the monitor.  I’ll give it a few more minutes.  My body is in such a routine, though.  I glance over at Kelley…still fast asleep.

6:40 AM - Now I’m starting to get concerned.  One of the kids should be awake by now.  We’ve never slept this late in the morning.  My mind goes over all of the possible scenarios.  I look over at Kelley because she must be as concerned as I am.  Her mothering instincts are alerting her to this weird sensation, but she manages to sleep on.  She’s a brave woman, I tell you.

6:45 AM - I’m now in the midst of a dilemma.  Should I check on the girls and make sure they’re OK?  If they are OK, then my checking on them would just wake them up and reinforce their need to arise early.  Not good.  If I don’t check on them, then how will I know their fate?  What if they’re tangled-up in their covers and can’t get out?  This would not only scare Butterfly, but would mean that Ladybug has learned how to get out of the crib and find some covers to get trapped in.  This is a very imminent danger.  Kelley manages to calm her own fears by lying very still with her eyes closed and breathing very slowly.  I don’t know how she has the strength.

6:48 AM - Butterfly comes pouncing into our room showing off the shoes that she put on all by herself.  Ladybug makes a little grunt over the intercom.  We sound the “all clear”…crisis averted.  I swoop up little Butterfly and take her downstairs for breakfast.  Ladybug will doze on and off for a few more minutes before beckoning us.  These few minutes of high-stress have clearly taken a toll on the family.  Kelley decides that it is best if she rolls over and tries to catch-up on the sleep she missed during this ordeal.  Rest-up, my dear, tomorrow is another day…

When I started college, Mercer University’s School of Engineering was using a unique marketing campaign.  Their slogan of “Georgia’s other Engineering School” was an obvious play at Georgia Tech’s popularity.  As the only other accredited engineering school in Georgia, the intent was to draw some of those who may have only considered Tech.  And, if a few people were disenfranchised by Tech, then the slogan may have been seen as a jab at the Jackets, as well.  Whatever the motivation, the humorous slogan was dropped at some point during my education.

If Tech continutes to serve up opportunities like this, I wonder how long it will be before Mercer takes advantage of them and hits a winner with a new marketing campaign.  I’m thinking something like:
Mercer University School of Engineering: We have Girls on our Campus

Got any ideas?

(My apologies to Chicago for ripping off their song title, but it’s appropriate.)

I have this little habit that I’ve been working on for about 5 years now.  It’s called Mountain Dew.  Oh boy, do I love a cold MD.  Some would look a my situation and say that I’m addicted to this juice of goodness.  To that, I reply “I DON’T CARE!”  Back when I was in college, I refused to drink caffeine because I wanted to know that it would keep me awake in case I ever needed to pull an all-nighter.  Turns out I was way to lazy to ever attempt such a thing.  But when I started work with my own office and installed a little fridge, I’ve been drinking about 3,000 gallons of Dew a week. [Please Note: This amount is just an estimate.  Actual consumption varies depending on how long the week seams.]

There’s this small, insignificant voice in my head that tells me that I don’t need the insane amounts of sugar, preservatives, caffeine, or radioactive green that is supplied in my daily allotment of two cans.  And there are those goody-goody types that seem to be able to do accomplish a reduction in their intake of similar chemicals.  So, I decided a couple of weeks ago that it was time to kick the habit.  [Reality Check: MD was not on sale at Kroger and I wasn't about to pay $5 for a 12-pack when cokes are only $2.50 per pack.  That probably had a lot more to do with my decision.]

Here was my theory.  First, I’d gradually reduce the amount of caffeine that I take in.  I’d go from 2 Dews [54 mg of caffeine each can] to 2 cokes [34 mg].  Then I’d drop down to 2 Barq’s root beers [22 mg].  Eventually, I’d drop those all together and have nice refresshing water all day long.  The theory was sound…the timing was not.

My body had settled into the 2 coke routine and I was working on 1 coke and 1 Barq’s when the girls got sick.  The nights with just a little sleep left me needing a little pick-me-up for work in the morning.  I’ve read somewhere that an apple does a better job of waking you up in the morning than a soft drink does.  That’s a load of rubbish.  The apple made me mad.  It was the Mountain Dew that helped me through the day.

And so, a week after falling off the wagon (and happily doing so, I might add), I’m left with a decision.  Should I try, try again or should I just enjoy the green goodness as it was intended for me?

I’m not very fast with a phone or a camera, but I was lucky enough to snap this picture with my camera phone on the way in:

Not sure what it is?  Let me zoom in and enhance it a little for you…

It’s a truck that is balanced perfectly on the concrete barrier in the middle of the road.  I didn’t see any other vehicles involved in the accident, so I have no idea how it got up there.  I think maybe they were driving too fast, then they opened their doors and lifted off the ground.  Of course, the local news outlets don’t have anything posted about it, so I can’t confirm my theory.

My oldest child will be four years old in the fall. Unfortunately, she surpassed my reasoning abilities long ago. Now she is as crafty as her mother when it comes to getting me to do things that I don’t want to do. Here’s the way tonight’s events took place. (I’ve gone ahead and included entirely too much detail for you. You’re welcome.)

The girls have been sick for the better part of a week. We’ve been constantly wiping noses and administering medications. This afternoon, Ladybug awoke from her nap inconsolable…which is very rare for her. So we knew something was wrong. We loaded the girls up, dropped Butterfly off at our emergency babysitters (Rickie and Sheri ROCK!), and headed to the after hours doctor. An hour and a half later, we were all back in the van headed to the store. Butterfly was clearly feeling much better than she had all week. She sang for her sister and kept Ladybug at ease. Almost at the pharmacy, I apprised everyone of the agenda for the evening. First, drop-off the prescription, then drop-off Kelley and Ladybug at the house, Butterfly and I would then get the medicine and procure supper for the family. Everyone clear?

“Daddy, wait! I have a great idea! Why don’t you and Ladybug go home and Me and mommy go to the waffle house. ONE POINT!”

One point? Kelley indicated that she’s wasn’t sure what was going on either. Seems like Butterfly is playing some kind of game…

“Butterfly, you and me are going to go to Moe’s to get some food for everybody. You can ride with me and eat chips on the way back.”

That one is a winner, works every time. The girl loves eating chips on the way home.

“No, Daddy. We need to all eat some waffles and some eggs. TWO POINTS!”

Two points?! Wait a minute…what kind of game are we playing? How come I don’t have any points? I’m down by two points already! I thought the chip thing would definitely help me out.  There’s only one way to get to the bottom of this.

“Who told you about keeping points?”

“I don’t know, but Ladybug wants to eat a waffle, too. THREE POINTS!”

“Listen, Butterfly, it’s probably not a good night to go to the…”

“Let’s see, we have one, two, three four, FIVE POINTS! Let’s go to the WAFFLE HOUSE!”

FIVE!! How in the world did I give up two more points?! I don’t have a clue what game were playing, but within two minutes, I managed to give up five points and score none of my own.

An hour later, we walked out of the local Waffle House with our bellies full and a happy little Butterfly. Sometimes I don’t know how she manages to talk me into things. But, if losing the game requires me to eat some hashbrowns and a waffle, I don’t think I mind too much. If only I could get some type of greasy meal each time Kelley talks me into something…but that type of statement won’t score me any points.

* photos provided by Flickr. Scoring system provided by Butterfly.

July 4th always brings out the party animal in us all.  Our crew managed to find the energy to swim for 30 minutes and then eat a meal with some family.  They served 4 different kinds of meat…I was happy.  But, eventually, night fell upon us and I took Ladybug back to the house to go to sleep.  Soon after, Kelley brought Butterfly to greet the sandman.  By 8:30, which is late for us, the girls were fast asleep.

Oh, but it’s July 4th, so we need some fireworks.  Not to worry…some people nearby supplied those.  Until around midnight.  Ladybug woke up once and needed consolation.  Butterfly slept through the pops and crackles.  As I laid there looking at the clock, I decided that the people performing the celebration probably weren’t very bright.  Then I realized that maybe I’m just an old fuddy-dud who doesn’t enjoy a good celebration when I hear it.  It’s really tough to tell, sometimes.

At any rate, the holiday was spent with my family, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.  As July 5th comes and goes, so will the memories of the parades, the bands, and the yummy foods.  Hopefully, long after the memory of drunken revelers fades away, I’ll still remember to pay tribute to those who have battled to give us the freedom that we have.  While I fumed about the crackle of fireworks, I should have been thankful that it wasn’t gunfire from rebels, or a wake-up call from a corrupt government militia.  I am blessed and honored to live where I do and the way I do.  Thanks to all of you who have made that possible.

The truth is often painful.  I’m getting older.  My metabolism and my driving are fighting to see which can be slower.  My weight and small pains are battling to see which can increase the fastest.  I don’t obsess over these things (at least I don’t think I do…do I?) but if I have some free time, I try to go to the gym to help reverse the “shape shifting” process.  I don’t stay all night, usually an hour is more than enough time to sit on a machine and watch other people workout around me.  I go on average about 4 times a week ensuring that I rest on a different machine each time.  I want all of my muscles to not exercise equally.

Last night I took the opportunity to visit the gym.  I was in the middle of seeing how little weight I could do on an exercise and I noticed that the staff was giving a young couple a tour.  Ah, that’s sweet…they’re going to start exercising together.  [Side Note: You know this was the girl's idea.  If the woman suggests that the couple begin to exercise, the couple ends up at the gym.  If the man suggests that they exercise, they end up working on a divorce settlement.]  Eventually, the staff member lets the budding lovebirds have their run of the gym to try it out and see if they like it.  This was a good night to do it because there weren’t many people around.

I was continuing my sets of chair sits when the young man approached me.  He asked, “Excuse me, do you workout here a lot?“ I looked around to see who he was talking to.  Odd, no one else is around.  I looked in the mirror real quick…nope, still no muscles.  Poor guy, he must be visually impared.  I quickly decided that I should help this poor boy.  Is turns out that he was looking for a way to workout his lower back.   I showed him the various places and positions where he could sit to rest his back.  Afterall, resting is just as good as exercising*.  He thanked me for my time and went about his business.  It felt good to help someone.  I wonder if I should do it more often.

*quote is attributed to JPLand.  All rights reserved.  All royalties and payments expected in cash.

Have you ever been snacking on something and out of curiosity (or boredom) just started reading the label?

Today I learned that my Coca-Cola is “not a significant source” of fiber or vitamin C.  That explains so much.  When I felt a cold coming on, I would always drink as much Coke as possible…now I know why it didn’t help.  And I won’t even go into detail about the constipation.

I also have a jar of Planters Dry Roasted Peanuts.  Can you imagine mys shock when I saw that was contained in this jar?

Ladybug is a talented young child. She can identify bodily functions and well as parts of the body that make those noises. This morning, she developed another “endearing” habit (and this one probably came from her mother, too.)

I picked Ladybug up from her crib this morning and apparently she’s battling a small cold. Nothing major, just enough to give her a little congestion. Apparently, congestion is not something that Ladybug wants to live with. So, given the options, she decided that picking her nose was the best route to take. And what better time to do it than while getting a diaper change? (She get’s her ability to be efficient from me.)

You know how parents are supposed to be good role models and teach their kids what they’re not supposed to do in public? Well, I laughed. And that made Ladybug giggle and wrinkle her nose. There she was cramming her chubby little finger up her stubby little nose. It was the cutest little thing…in a gross-nasty kind of way.

We went downstairs for breakfast and I relayed this tale to my wife. For some strange reason, she did not revel in the humor and cuteness of my tale. But I knew that you people would appreciate a good nose-picking story. You do appreciate it, don’t you?