The sweltering heat is beginning to yield its hold over the south and we’re able to enjoy temperatures in the low 90’s.  Hurricanes bring us rain so that our grass turns from “dead” to “slightly less dead”.  This means that on Saturday mornings, you hear the distant hum of lawnmowers across the neighborhood.  (It’s a distant hum because I only gut my grass when I need to make a path for the elephants and tigers to cross.)  But more importantly, the silence of weeknights dissolves into the rhythm of drums on Friday evenings.  The bass drums echo for miles around and the rat-tat-tat of the snares stay crisp across the neighborhoods.  It’s football season.  I can feel it in my bones…I can smell it in the air.

football

I do love football.  If allowed, I’d plop on the couch and watch it all weekend.  A great coaching strategy is the only thing that can overcome a large athletic deficit.  The irony is that pure athleticism can sometimes overcome great coaching strategies.  So, each week, you watch the best-of-the-best lay it all on the line.  Sure, the concept sounds cool, but the reality is that it’s just a bunch of guys trying to run each other over.  Archaic?  Definitely.  But I’d join ‘em in a heartbeat.  I’d take the league minimum to go out and try my hardest.

The only thing that stinks about football season is the fans.  They go on and on and on about their team.  I like to talk theory behind the sport.  Pros and cons of a match-up.  Who to watch and expectations of the game.  Die-hard fans like to talk about how awesome their team is no matter what.  The conversation is usually something like this:

Me - Boy, Team A sure will have a tough time this week.  Team B looks like they can defend the pass pretty well.
Fan - WE’RE GONNA CRUSH THEM LIKE BUGS!
Me - Probably…but you have to admit that their secondary is very well-adapted at the spread offense which forces you to rely more on your running game.
Fan - THEY AIN’T GOT NOTHIN’ ON US!  WE’RE GONNA DOMINATE!
Me - Gotcha.  Well, I hope your QB gets out of the hospital soon. That might help.
Fan - OUR BACK-UP QUARTERBACK WILL EAT THESE GUYS FOR SUPPER!  HE SLEEPS ON NAILS!
Me - ooohhhhh-kay.  So, how ’bout that weather.
Fan - OUR DEFENSIVE LINE IS GONNA TACKLE THAT HURRICANE AND MAKE IT SUFFER!  AIN’T NO SILLY WIND GONNA SLOW US DOWN.  CHAMPIONSHIP ALL THE WAY.  WE’RE ALL-UNIVERSE!

Maybe the problem is that these people actually have faith in their teams and I expect mine to lose.  Sour grapes, I guess.  Sometimes I try to think of what it would be like to support a winning team, but I’ve been loyal to Mercer and Georgia Tech this long…why turn back?