Shallow Thinker

Friday - 11:30 - lunch
Friday - 12:00 -entertain coworkers with whitty skit
Friday - 1:00 - leave work
Friday - 1:30 - arrive at church, set-up for fall festival
Friday - 3:30 - arrive at home, work on yard for Saturday
Friday - 5:15 - drag the kids around for candy
Friday - 6:40 - attend fall festival
Friday - 8:00 - clean-up from fall festival
Friday - 9:30 - take supplies home

Saturday - 6:23 - wake up too early because of excited kid
Saturday - 8:00 - start preparing inside for party
Saturday - 9:00 - start preparing outside for party
Saturday - 10:00 - Butterfly’s birthday party (which will be held in conjunction with her best friends’)
Saturday - 12:00 - cook lunch for family
Saturday - 1:00 - clean-up from party
Saturday - 3:30 - take a couple of moments to rest and watch a little football

Sunday - 6:22 - wake up too early because of other kid
Sunday - 9:30 arrive at church
Sunday - 10:30 - my Sunday with the little kids
Sunday - 1:45 - do some work from work
Sunday - 7:00 - meeting at church
Sunday - 8:45 - sit down and get ready for another week.

Don’t you feel sorry for me?  Cash is the best way to show you care.

The pattern of our life hasn’t been the most exciting recently.  Butterfly was sick, then Ladybug.  then Butterfly.  Then Ladybug.  Then Butterfly.  Then….well, hopefully you’ve been able to figure out what the pattern is by now.  Last night, our beautiful pattern of sickness and health was shattered to bits.  Kelley decided that she wanted in on the action so she gobbled up a stomach bug as fast as she could.  Right about the time the girls were drifting off to sleep, Kelley began her fast roll downhill.  I knew she was sick when she decided just to sleep on the couch.  She never lets me have the bed to myself.

As the sun rose, Kelley wasn’t feeling much better, so I started making some calls.  Two contracts at work needed immediate attention, a midterm was scheduled for this evening, and an important meeting was on the calendar for Thursday morning which meant preparations were required.  Geez, how thoughtless of my wife to get sick at a time like this.  Now I was forced to stay home from this high-pressure situation and tend to my girls’ every need.  How would I make it?

The girls have preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, so my first order of business was to get them ready.  I don’t know how Kelley normally does this, but I spent the better part of 30 minutes chasing Ladybug between rooms.  I would have been frustrated, but her squeals of delight every time I caught her softened me quite a bit.  As we walked out the door, Kelley gave her clearest sign yet that she wasn’t well.  She didn’t even take the girls upstairs to change them out of the clothes that I put them in.  Wow…I might better call the emergency room.

After dumping them off for some learning, I ran down to the office to crank out some work.  About three hours late, I met the girls as their classes were letting out.  I was entranced with tails of crafts and games.  We shared a healthy lunch of fried chicken, french fries, and buttery toast (thanks, Zaxby’s!), and then settled down for rest time.  Ladybug napped, Butterfly watched a movie, and I hammered out some e-mails that made it appear like I was still in the office.

The rest of the afternoon, I basked in the joy that my daughters bring.  We shared laughs, giggles, tickles, runs down store aisles, ice cream, and even some songs.  What I was given was far more valuable than the hugs and kisses that I received…though those were much appreciated.  I started this week with a lot on my list that I needed to accomplish.  If I go back in tomorrow, that list will still be sitting there, waiting to be checked.  The time with my daughters, however, will have slipped off into the past.  I am sorry for my wife and her sickness, but I am truly thankful for the time that I got to spend with my girls.  I might have to start taking sick days a little more often.

Anyone with kids soon comes to a realization that saying “no” becomes tedious and cumbersome.  In order to prevent being completely negative, parents must vary their delivery each time.  Here are some of those creative phrases and nuggets of wisdom that we have passed on to our two girls in the last four years:

• Those are lovely panties, but let’s not show the neighbors.
• Please don’t squeeze daddy’s eye.
• You’re right, she is a very large woman, but lets talk a little bit quieter.
• Oh my, that’s a wonderful story about the “mommy poo-poo and the baby poo-poo”, but it’s probably time to wipe ourselves and get down from the potty.
• Yes, I’m sure that cake and ice cream would make a good breakfast, but let’s start with a waffle instead.
• Thank you, baby, but I don’t need any help picking my nose.

The list could go on and on, but isn’t it amazing the things we have to teach these little creatures?  I just hope that I remember all of the important things.  I don’t want my kid sitting for a job interview one day trying to pick the interviewer’s nose.

Can I ask a hypothetical question?  Sure I can, it’s my blog.  Here’s a scenario for you and I’d like to hear your response and the basis for it.

Let’s pretend that there are two people running for an office.  And let’s say, for the sake of this exercise, that you are a voter.  After gathering all of the information available, you have compiled the following assessment:

Candidate #1: You agree with his/her stance on the foreign policy, economics, and other political issues.  However, you find this candidate’s personal life to be morally reprehensible.  Cheating on a spouse, unethical behavior while in office, etc.
Candidate #2: This person has been the moral pillar within his/her community.  When tested, this person has always done what is right (morally speaking).  However, you disagree with the candidate’s political stance on taxes, government programs, and almost every other major political issue.

In this purely hypothetical situation, when you stand in the voting booth, who do you vote for?  Is your vote based on the person or the policies?  (I know that most people would answer “both”, but this is my hypothetical situation and you can’t have both.)

I’ve known for a while that I have a touch of OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - or maybe its OCPD…I don’t know).  In moderate cases, OCD is marked by anxiety or distressing.  The sufferer “overcomes” that anxiety by doing things meticulously, in a pattern, or completely focused until that task has been sufficiently dealt with.  In severe cases, normal tasks require a specific pattern that is to be repeated until perfectly performed.  Often, the repetition inhibits normal daily activities.

In my case, I have just a touch.  Some of these characteristics lend themselves well to my career choice.  In my role as an engineer and a program manager, the routine, monotony, and meticulousness have been a great help.  I keep full visibility of my projects.  I constantly track funding.  I have checklists for everything.  I can not stand to move on from one project to another until things have been completed.  Each day, I strive to check more and more things off my list…I can’t stand to have something undone.

In my personal life, this seems to be slightly more problematic that helpful.  I’ve always joked about not reading much, but it is a true statement.  When I say that I don’t have time to read, for me, it’s a valid argument.  If I start a book, the OCD kicks in and I feel compelled to finish it.  My wife can attest to the fact that no matter what it is I’m reading, I’ll stay up late into the night trying to get through it.  Even if it’s a horrible book, I still try to plow through it for the sake of having it finished.  I’m reluctant to pick up a book because I know that I’ll have trouble putting it down.  Reading out of obligation, though self-imposed, is not much fun.  Calvin and Hobbes really is my favorite thing to read.  It makes a point, has humor, and I’m done in about 45 seconds.

Video games are the same way.  I’ll turn one on to unwind for about a half hour and 3 hours later I’ll finally be able to talk myself into the fact that I’ve hit a good stopping point.

I know that these traits sometimes annoy my wife.  (Especially the staying up late part.)  It is a mental battle to sometimes suppress the urge to keep going until something is completely finished.  An attribute that I think is a positive trait, can be detrimental if I don’t watch myself.

So what’s the point of this post?  I don’t know.  I usually try to blog every day, but I’ve been a bit slack lately.  So, I think I’m writing because I feel compelled to do so.  I think my OCD made me write about my OCD.  Is this the twilight zone?

The good news is that I’m on a self-help plan.  Instead of neatly putting away my laundry, I throw it around our bedroom.  No need to keep the tools in order just because I feel compelled to do so.  Nope, I’ll just leave them laying around the house in random places.  It’s tough to do, but with a little help and understanding from my wife, I just might shake this thing.

So now that I’m in grad school, I’m starting to remember a bunch of stuff from the college days.  As I’ve gone through this first class, here are some helpful hints that I’m remembering:

1) My memory is not very good.  If I have an assignment due, I need to write it down.  Then, I need to write it down somewhere different because I’ll lose the first paper.  After class, I need to write a note and put it in my car.  Then, when I get home, I need to write a note and stick it on the fridge.

2) I’m still going to forget to do the homework.

3) It’s a lot easier to do the work as soon after class as I can.  Otherwise it’s 30 minutes before the assignment is due and I’m just starting to remember that there’s something I was suppose to do.  If only I could find that sheet of paper where I wrote it.

4) I remember every semester in undergrad, I would start refreshed.  I wanted to make all A’s and I’d have this plan about doing all the homework, studying hard during the year, and then dominating the exams because of all the extra effort.  In reality, I never sacrificed sleep which led me to do homework at the last minute, cram for finals an hour ahead of time, and pray a lot after I’d turned them in.

So now, I’m older and wiser.  I’ve learned from those mistakes.  I have a mid-term coming up next week.  Instead of waiting to study at the last minute, I’m going to go ahead and start right now.  Well, not right this second because I want to play a video game.  And then I’ll take a nap.  Wednesday is busy…so is Thursday.  I’ll need Friday to relax from a long week.  Saturday will be spent with the Family.  Sunday too.  Monday will be the start of another busy week.  So it looks like I have about 30 minutes before the exam to study.

There, see what I mean?  10 years ago, I never would have planned this far ahead.

There’s a table in our break room that is used for advertisement purposes.  Avon, Boy Scout popcorn, Pampered Chef, and various other sales items are spread across the table.  I usually glance to see whos kid is selling what and then forget about it and go about my business.  Until today.

Fanned-out across the table were some small, blue tickets.  For $5, you purchase a raffle ticket.  The top prize is a 2-minute spree in Publix.  This topic consumed our lunch conversation.  We discussed strategies, pitfalls, potential rules, and things like that.  We even went and found the guy who had put the things out to ask for clarification (Are alcohol, pharmaceuticals, and tobacco products included?  Do you only get one buggy?  Do you have to have it back to a finish line before time expires?  Is there a limit to the number of each item that you can get?)  Unfortunately, our questions went unanswered.  But that didn’t stop us from using the rest of our lunch break to plan our strategies.

I couldn’t formulate a good enough plan without knowing the rules.  But, here’s my best guess of what I’d do.  First, I’d run down the cookware aisle grabbing the fancy, expensive sets and items (Merry Christmas, Kelley!).  I figure that stuff can sell on ebay pretty easy.  Then, I’d hit the meats and cheeses (Merry Christmas, Me!).  If, for some strange reason, I’d finished up all of that in less than 2 minutes, I’d sprint over to the hallmark section and read the humorous cards.  Those things are too funny!  I might even get one that plays music or something.

So, there’s my plan.  If you were given 2 minutes in a grocery store, what would you grab?

Today was Boss’s Day.  It’s not something that I usually celebrate because there’s no “employee day” and I’m a little bitter abou that.  But, this year, one of the workers wanted to honor our boss.  Cheddar’s wouldn’t accept reservations because our party was too large (12).  Ah, it’s not that big of a deal, right?  They usually take forever, anyhow.  Someone took some initiative and booked us a table at O’Charlies.

12:00 - Arrive.  My group is the last one there.

12:15 - I wonder where the waitress is…

12:20 - Our orders are finally taken.  Looks like we’re ready to go.

12:35 - The rolls are gone.  There is no other food to sustain us…some of us most likely won’t make it out alive.

12:45 - All of the jokes about waiting have been used.  One guy has resorted to making his straw into a musical instrument.  Everyone silently wishes that a light fixture will drop on his head.

12:50 - Food arrives

12:51 - Food has been eaten.  The wait for the check begins.  Small talk has dissolved and people find things on the wall to look at in order to avoid eye contact.

1:00 - Still waiting on the checks…still avoiding eye contact.

1:10 - Checks arive.  Could the end of this be near?

1:20 - No, it could not.

1:30 - Finally….freedom!  An hour and a half for lunch.  If this weren’t boss’s day, I’d feel really bad about charging the time to work.

On Monday afternoon, we took our annual trip to the “pumpkin patch.”  It’s actually just a bunch of pumpkins lined-up at Forest Hills United Methodist Church.  Butterfly was in charge of picking out our pumpkins this year.  Prior to our arrival, she let us in on her strategy. “A BIG giant one for daddy, and itty-bitty, baby one for Ladybug and a medium-sized one for mommy.“  We asked what she would do for one for herself and she simply stated “well, it will be smaller than the medium-sized one, but bigger than the itty-bitty one.”

Upon our arrival, Butterfly helped identify the perfect pumpkins to represent our family.  Ladybug found much joy in patting the big ones and picking up as many small ones as she could.  The bumpy ones intrigued her for a little bit.  Within a few minutes of our arrival, the girls’ gazes shifted from the pumpkins in the patch to the adjacent playground.  Want to guess where we spent most of our time?

My company observes federal holidays.  Columbo Day is named for a guy who seems to not have a clue where he’s going and appears really surprised when he gets there.  Some other internet sites will tell you that the it’s actually called “Columbus Day” and named for Christopher Columbus, but the description of the guy is still pretty accurate.  Heck, we’re still calling people “Indians” even though the dude was thousands of miles off.  So clearly, there’s no reason to celebrate him.  At least Columbo solved crimes.

In keeping with tradition, my family spent the weekend piddling about and achieving very little…which is my favorite way to spend the weekend.

On Friday night, Kelley and I decided to have a “date night”.  (As much as a couple can have one after putting the kids to bed and being unable to leave the house.)  As she grabbed a couple of things around the house, I laid back on the couch to rest…and fell asleep.  Apparently, and you’ll have to forgive me because I’m no expert on this…but apparently, naps are not considered an appropriate way to spend a date night.  This isn’t written anywhere, and my wife never stated this out loud, but somehow, I was supposed to have this information.  Women are so hard to understand.

Saturday morning we took the girls to the Museum of Arts & Sciences (see pictures on Flickr).  They had a blast enjoying all of the exhibits.  Kelley enjoyed the help because we could go with a man-to-man defense and keep up with both girls.  Butterfly wants to sit at each station, absorb all of the information, discuss the findings, and reflect on what it all means…she’s like her mother.  Ladybug, by contrast, enjoys running throughout the museum, pushing anything that looks like a button, breaking objects within reach, and  trying to lick the monkeys…she is her father’s child.

The rest of the weekend went on and things happened, but I’m going to guess that you’ve probably stopped reading now.  You looked at the post title, saw the picture, and then moved on.  The faithful few of you have probably even resorted to skimming.  It’s OK, I understand.  My wife is a better writer and you want to visit her site and see what cool musings she has.  Now go on, get out of here.  You crazy kids get off my lawn.

Butterfly will be four at the beginning of November.  Even though there is a vast age difference, she still feels empowered to make rules for our house.

A couple of weeks ago, Kelley cooked up some tacos for us.  The tacos managed to do to me the same thing that chili does.  We spent the rest of the evening changing rooms to avoid the smells that I left behind.  As bedtime neared, I worked with Butterfly to get ready for bed.  Realizing that there was no escaping my gassy wrath, she finnaly had enough.  “DADDY!  I’m making a rule.  No more pooting in my room.  Only pooting in the bathroom.  Now, you go in there if you need to poot.“  And so, a new rule was adopted.

Last night, I was getting Butterfly ready for bed when she escaped the confines of femininity just long enough to break the silence (and the wind).  I looked over at her with a weary eye and asked “Was that you making those noises.“  Apparently, this little girl is smart enough to realize where things were about to go.  She immediately began to adjust her rules. “Daddy, this is my room.  The new rule is that I can poot in my room, but you have to go to the bathrooml“  Such tyranny and injustice!  Why am I limited in my location?  I decided to force the issue, “If you can poot in your room, then I can poot in your room, too!“  In the wisdom that only soon-to-be-four-year-olds can understand, she gave me the basis for the rule. “No, daddy.  I just poot and make sounds.  You are stanky.”

Boy, this one gets more and more like her mama every day.

Each year in mid-September, Kelley begins to get all excited about the cool weather and the events of fall.  High on her list is the Georgia National Fair that is held in Perry.  The closer it gets, the more excited she becomes.  It’s simply amazing to me how different I am.  I’m completely left-brained about the whole thing:

We have to pay how much to get in?  The won’t even eat all their food.  The rides aren’t safe and they’re too expensive.  The girls will get a disease from the animals. Are you sure I need to go?  So how much are we expecting to spend?  We’ll only be able to stay a couple of hours and then they’ll fall asleep in the car.  Are you sure this is a good idea?

Each year, we have the same discussion.  She talks about the joys and the benefits while I harp on the pains and the annoyances.  This year was no exception.  Last night, just like the previous 5 years, I found myself standing in front of the clock tower, surrounded by the flashing lights and local bands.  The selling point is always “We do this for the girls.”

One of the first things that became apparent is that Ladybug is too independent for her little diapers.  She demanded to get out of the wagon and screamed that she be allowed to “walk” (which is to be interpreted as “run as fast as I can in every direction”).  Luckily, attendance was pretty low, so we gave her a little freedom…but only a little.  She seemed to be OK with the food, and the animals were fun to look at for about 10 seconds.  However, her favorite events were a dirty water puddle that she stomped in and a trash truck.  No, not a special truck made of trash, just an old flatbed truck off to the side that workers throw trash in.

Butterfly, on the other hand, knew exactly what the fair was about.  She wanted to ride the rides and eat the funnel cake.  While Kelley let Ladybug march around, I took Butterfly over to find the rides.  When I saw the prices, I though “$2 per ride!? Are you kidding me?  They only last 45 seconds!“  Butterfly reached up and grabbed my hand and said “Daddy, look at Dumbo.  He’s so cute.  Can we ride him?“  My right-brained thinking faded away faster than the money in my wallet.  We rode the dumbo ride,…then the spinning dragons…and then we did an obstacle-course thingy that ended with a big slide at the end.  (Later that evening, Butterfly confided in me that the big slide was her favorite part of the fair.)

After the rides, we needed to spend a little more money.  The little ones chomped away on pizza, Kelley shared her roasted corn with Ladybug, and I got a hot dog.  Oh, how I don’t miss the fair food.  It felt like a brick was in my stomach.  We used up a few of the calories by visiting the petting zoo, but the evening was getting later.  To end the night, we got rid of that nasty-fair-food feeling in our stomachs the only way we knew how:

Here the other pictures that I took with my cell phone: