Published by JPLand on 30 Nov 2008 at 09:27 pm
Generations Lost
This past weekend, Kelley and I took the girls to spend a little time with my dad’s parents. During the visit, I watched my girls play with and enjoy some of the same toys that I played with as a child. (I had to fight the urge to squeal like a middle school girl every time they pulled out a new one. I wanted to shriek “I remember that train! It was my favorite!”)
For lunch, Pop and I went down the the local barbecue shop and rustled up some chicken and pork. On the ride, we talked about changes around their neighborhood, across the country, and within our family. He told me a couple of stories about growing-up and about my dad when he was younger.
In a few of the quite moments that I’ve had since our visit, I have though more about what Pop didn’t tell me than what he did. I realize that there is so much about his life that I’ll never know. His days in the service, what his father was like, what it was like growing up when he did, fathering three boys….the list goes on.
When my grandfather passes on, so will the memory of most of his life. A part of me is deeply saddened by that. He lived so much and did so many things and I only know a small drop in the bucket. Most likely, I’ll never know much about the young man serving his country on a ship or about an electrical guru helping to power a major production facility. I realize that I am fortunate for the parts that I do know. I know about a gentle giant who loves his wife. I know about a man that understands he’s getting older, but enjoys the freedom of his own house too much to move on. I know a man who always gives us a jar of honey because his great-granddaughter likes it.
I’m a bit ashamed to look around and realize how many others there are like Pop. Each day, I interact with people that carry hidden stories that I may never unlock. There are deep lives that I may never wade into. I can blame some of that on the fact that people are guarded. Some I can blame on being too focused on some random task. Either way, I’m missing out on all these beautiful people with amazing lives.
Is there a way to remedy this or is it just the way life is?
Alana on 30 Nov 2008 at 9:42 pm #
You could interview your grandpa, or see if Story Corps will be in town anytime soon. I think one of the lessons is that most of us spend way to much time talking and not enough time listening. I know I do.
Queen Kelley on 01 Dec 2008 at 7:38 am #
Beautiful post, babe. It brought tears to my eyes. I think there’s no way we can touch the depths of all the lovely souls around us, but what we did this weekend is a good way to touch part of at least one of them. This is why I love spending time with my grandparents and other family members–because if you catch them just right, you might uncover a glimpse of the people they have been during the various stages of their lives. It’s fascinating, and it helps us keep the perspective that all people are significant and have histories. Kinda removes the prejudice some people seem to have about old folks when they can think of them as a dashing young soldier or a fresh-faced father.
Mr. Rickie on 01 Dec 2008 at 10:20 pm #
It’s amazing how much someone will tell you if you only ask. You really don’t have to set aside a special time. Whenever you are around them just ask them something, anything, about their life. Whether they are young or old, people feel special when you express a desire to know something about them. And in the process your life will be made richer from knowing so much more about those around you.