Shallow Thinker

A month or two ago, I started getting up at 6:00 to walk the dogs.  They needed the exercise and it seemed like a good time to do it.  The girls were still asleep, so I didn’t feel like I was stealing some of my time with them and it gave me a good start to the morning.  This weekend, though, it got cold.  It is tough to motivate myself to walk the furballs when it’s below 40.  I decided to keep waking up at 6:00, but to go on into the office and start on some work a little early.

Monday morning, my first attempt at this, I woke-up, showered, and snuck quietly downstairs.  I slowly packed my breakfast, lunch and numerous snacks to hold me over between meals.  As I was finishing and turning to walk out the door, I heard the gentle thud of small feet coming down the stairs.  Butterfly was awake, noticed the light on, and was coming down to greet the morning.  I really had planned on sneaking into work early and getting something accomplished before the weekly rush began.  I suppose I could fix her some food and sit until Mommy wakes up…

Monday morning turned out to be one of the bests mornings I’ve had in a while.  I shared breakfast with Butterfly and talked about her choice of subjects (Mulan, preschool, work, and what kind of dresses we like).   Her brain is always churning with ideas and possibilities…mostly of ways that she can have more treats or do more “fun things.”  Eventually, Ladybug beckoned Mommy and they found their way down the stairs.  I gathered up my share of hugs and kisses and went off to face the rest of the day.

I’m still getting up at 6:00.  And my intentions are still to get to work a little earlier.  But, each morning before I creep down the stairs, I peek into Butterfly’s room.  If she’s asleep, I leave her to finish her dreams.  If she’s awake, I invite her to come down and help me postpone the workday.  During that time, the dogs aren’t getting walked, the spreadsheets aren’t getting filled-out, and no projects are being managed.  But Daddy is enjoying the time with his little girl…who is growing up a little more every day.

No, not that kind of change.  I’m not interested in the economy or our country.  No, I’m far more interested in something bigger than those.  Me.

The fitness regimen has been good.  I’ve lost 8 pounds since I slightly elevated my dedication to my physical well being.  And, the bonus is that some of my pants actually have some extra room in the waist.    So now, if I need to pull up my socks, I can just reach my hand down through my pants to do it.  How cool is that?!

My focus thus far has been on cardiovascular workouts and eating healthier.  The cardio workouts did a great job of helping me burn the calories and drop the weight.  The eating healthier part was pretty easy because eating worse wasn’t really possible.  But I’ve become resolved in the fact that eating healthy, in the true sense of the term, is not going to happen for me.  I’m willing to make some changes, but there comes a point where I say “You know what….yes, I do want fries with that!”  And I’ll just run an extra lap to account for it.  It’s not the healthiest way to be, but I don’t want to set the bar too high for those around me.

Now that I’m hovering near my target weight (I’m consistently around 171), I’m ready to add my 8 pounds back on, but with muscle.  Lots and lots of muscle. I’ll still need to make sure that I’m burning my excess, so I’m probably going to keep the cardio portion twice a week.  For the other workouts, I’m going to move to some type of strength training.  In theory, the gym at my house is opening a branch within a mile of my office, so that appears to be an option.  The only problem is that they have to open first….still waiting on that one.  The other option is to take on the latest fitness sensation P90X.  If I go with the P90X, a DVD based system, I probably won’t have the time to do it in the manner it is intended.  There’s a specific regimen of what days work from which DVDs and things like that.  I’ll have some skip days here and there, so my 11-12 week program could easily stretch out to 15-20 weeks.  In addition, I want to keep running, so I’ll have to research and try to figure that out.

Realistically, I’m just trying to get some results without buying into any hype.  Every fitness thing out there claims super results.  The key is to keep changing-up the pattern so that the body doesn’t get too efficient at any one exercise.  Got a recommendation?

How often does doing taxes make you realize how awesome your spouse is?  A couple of weekends ago, I spent a few hours in front of the computer feeding in numbers and categorizing receipts.  When the processor was sufficiently heated and the numbers were returned, I assessed the damage and compared the results from years past.  One thing became immediately clear to me.

My wife has a bigger heart than I do.  Our charitable donations were a big reason that our additional payment to the feds isn’t a lot more.  I’ll bet that you might be able to guess which of us is good about giving donations to worthy causes.  (Hint: I don’t even like to buy girl scout cookies.)  It’s pretty cool the way she does it.  A little here and a little there make up small amounts that we won’t ever notice is gone.  But, over the course of a year, it makes a decent impact.  I say that I care about causes, but it’s usually more of an emotion in the moment.  My wife actually cares for causes and is willing to sacrifice other things so that these groups may have.

I know that there are a lot of worthy causes and organizations in our world.  Realistically, we can’t contribute to all of them.  So, we’ve made a decision to focus our efforts on a few groups that we’re most passionate about.  Most of our giving goes to groups that deal with Childhood Cancer.  Cancer on its own is a beast.  When you combine that with the innocence of a child, its difficult to imagine the toll that it takes.

When my daughters are sick, I ache for them and wish that I could take on their illness so that they can run and play again.  I know that if either of them, or even my wife, were confined to a hospital bed for even a short time, I would be broken beyond recognition.  Yet these children, their parents, and their families constantly battle the sterile rooms, the painful tests, and the ravished bodies that come with this disease.  If our lifetime of contributions can reduce that feeling of helplessness by one day for just one family, it is worth it.

To Kelley, thank you for caring about these children and their families enough to contribute.  Please continue to give out of the abundance of your heart.  It wouldn’t hurt me to eat out a little less often, anyhow.

To those families who have had to deal with this, you have our prayers and sympathy.  I do not have the wisom or the courage to ask “why?”, but I am fortunate enough to ask “How can I help?”

To anyone else, I’ve provided a few links below that direct you to organizations that fight childhood cancer.  If, however, this isn’t for you, please find a cause where you can help others and give to it passionately.  Sometimes it’s not your money that makes the biggest impact, but your time.

http://www.curechildhoodcancer.org/
http://www.curekidscancer.com/
http://www.curesearch.org/

On the way to work this morning, a lot of vehicles were having trouble staying in their lanes.  (Then again, maybe it was me….it sure seemed like it was everyone else, though.)  As I was avoiding collisions on every side, an older couple swerved into my lane.  With the limited distance between our vehicles, I was able to clearly observe their bumper-sticker.

Follow Me
to
Unionville United Methodist Church*

While my front bumper helped push them south along I-75, I also noticed that their tag was issued in Michigan.  As you can imagine, I was very tempted just to follow the couple everywhere they went until we arrived at Unionville United Methodist Church* in Michigan.  But, alas, time did not allow me the months and months for them to travel to Florida, cause several wrecks and then return to their church in Michigan.  But someday, when I’m an old man with nothing better to do and my wife demands that I find a hobby, this will occupy my time.  I’m going to start doing what bumper stickers say and then watch how annoyed people get when I follow their own instructions.  If it takes driving to Michigan to go to a church, so be it.  My wife will be so proud that I’m occupied with something helpful to the community.

*the church was a UMC church, but I changed the name so that they won’t expect me when I show up in 60 years.

Valentine’s weekend came with a roar and left with a cough.  Queen Kelley and I were able to spend some quality time with Ladybug and Butterfly on Saturday.  We visited the Museum of Arts and Sciences (no hyperlink because I’m lazy today), and then had lunch at a little Chinese place.  The rest of the day was spent piddling around.  I like piddling.

For most of Saturday, Butterfly was getting over her cough….and Ladybug was picking it up.  On Sunday, they both seemed better.  I got to spoil them both for a while outside.  We colored with chalk, jumped on the trampoline, rode bikes, and frolicked about.  Ladybug’s cough started to be a little stronger in the evening and she got a little more clingy to her Mama.

On Monday, Ladybug wasn’t feeling so hot.  The thermometer confirmed a fever.  While Kelley ran a few errands, I got to some alone time with each girl.  The clubhouse in the living room was a big hit (a sheet stretched across some chairs.)  Butterfly and I had a tea party and then when Kelley swapped girls with me, Ladybug had fun messing-up the tea party.  Kelley ran Ladybug to the doctor (result: BIG shot…ouch!) while I cooked fajitas for the family and my mom.  As we tried to go to sleep, the coughing filled the monitor.  We were thinking that it would be a long night…

I hate it when we’re right.  Kelley didn’t get much sleep last night.  I tried to help out as much as I could, but I have this horrible ability to fall asleep no matter what.  I even took my turn holding Ladybug in the rocking chair so that she could sleep in my arms and Kelley could rest.  I don’t know who would move first, but both of us kept jerking awake, startling the other, and then nodding back off.  I kept (stupidly) thinking that she was sound asleep and would put her down in her crib.  About 15 minutes later, the hacking cough would return and cause her to wake-up.  In turn, the very caring and very loving Kelley would wake up too.  But not me because I have this ability to….wait.  Haven’t we already covered this?

So there you go.  The lack of posts over the past few days can be attributed to business, famliness, and sickliness.  Here’s to hoping that Ladybug gets some rest so that she can get well.  And to hoping that Kelley gets some rest so that she can get some rest.  And to hoping the my Mom can get a little rest from Butterfly because that girl is absorbing as much of her GG as she can get.  I’m fine and dandy because I came to work to get some rest.

"before" and "after" images are from the Associated Press

It seems that modern science is always a step ahead of modern medicine.  Over the past 5 years, the use of “performance enhancing” drugs in sports has been investigated thoroughly in almost every professional sport.  What I gather from everything is that the latest drug on the market can’t be identified by current testing procedures.  That seems to be the case no matter when you take the snapshot.

So, recently, there has been a lot of talk about who has used drugs to increase their competitive advantage and who has not.  We’re starting to hear more names of big stars that cheated the system.  Now there’s another one to add to the list:

I’m using steroids.  Yes, you read that right.  This physique isn’t all natural.  It started out innocently enough.  I went to my doctor for my yearly physical, we discussed how to better get in shape and improve my quality of life.  And then he wrote me a prescription.  I didn’t question it because the man’s a doctor.  Surely this must be OK….right?

After the order was filled and I’d been using the medicine for a while, I actually did a little research.  It turns out that my nasal spray for my allergies is actually a steroid.  I’d noticed some warning signs.  At the office, people would compliment me on how muscular my nose was getting, but I thought it was because I’ve been working out more often.  Then the mood swings started to happen.  One hour I’d be perfectly fine and the next, I’d be sound asleep.  And the worst part of it all….geez, I can’t believe I’m going to admit this…the worst part is that my sense of smell was enhanced beyond normal.  I used to walk outside and not be able to smell anything at all.  Now, it’s all different.  I smell all of the things around me, the good and the bad.

I know it’s wrong to use the drugs, but I can’t stop.  If i stop now, and my nose returns to normal, everyone will know what I’ve been doing.  I feel so cheap, so dirty.  Wait…..is that popcorn I smell down the hall?  Hold on, I’ll be back.

Forgive me readers, I have eaten.  It has been two weeks since my last fitness report.  Here’s the damage for an entire month of being on “the program” -

I’ve dropped a total of about 7 pounds.  Statistically speaking, if I continue working at this pace I will cease to exist two years from now.  Impressive, isn’t it?

Since we’re doing the weight-loss competition at work, I’ll probably keep doing my current regimen for the remaining 5 weeks, just to see if my partner and I can win a prize.  Once that is over, I plan to drop down to cardio twice a week and increase the weight training to 2-3 times a week.  That will make me not only trim, but should also make me ridiculously muscular.  Well, more so than I already am.  I’m willing to risk my shirt ripping because my biceps are so big.  I’ll not work my legs too much because ripping my pants would be embarassing.

[UPDATE: It appears as though lance beat me to posting this link.  But since I've already gone through the work of putting up, I'll leave it here and give credit to lance for linking to it first.]

I don’t recall exactly when I first heard the phrase “food porn” but I recall the first time that I read it in print was when Hardee’s introduced their Monster Burgers to the world.  The intent of the phrase is to indicate that some food is gratuitously fattening for no reason other than the sake of boasting of calories and fat grams.

I got an e-mail this morning with the following link.  It’s food porn.  Instead of labeling it NSFW (not safe for work) I’ll label it NSFDBTA (not safe for dieters, but totally awesome.)

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

I honestly laughed at this because I know of 4-5 people that would take a road trip with me to go try each of these out.

I used to be a subscriber to an occasional e-mail from Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert.  In each e-mail, he’d devote a section to reader submissions of “managerisms”.  In the corporate world, catch phrases, such as “outside the box”, are constantly used…and overused.  The ones featured by Mr. Adams were sayings that had been butchered, and most of the time, they were spewed from the mouths of managers.

This weekend, I heard a couple that I thought would be worth sharing.

“There’s really no difference between these options.  It’s two in one, a half-dozen in the other.”
Well, actually, there is a difference, and it’s 4.  So are you trying to tell me that there really is a difference, or can you just not count?  Either way, I’m concerned.

“We can’t really understand other people unless we learn to see the world through their shoes”
I’ve always had a hard time looking through peoples shoes.  Heck, I can’t even see through mine.  And as a rule of thumb, I try to keep my face away from where people’s feet have been.

This morning, I was put in charge of ironing Butterfly’s skirt.  There are two reasons for this.  (1) I’m slightly OCD, so Kelley’s knows that I’ll be very meticulous when ironing and (2) Kelley doesn’t do ironing.  The second one probably had the biggest impact on how I ended up in front of the narrow table with the hot iron.

As I pressed the metal to the delicate cloth, Butterfly played on the floor and started singing a song.  I didn’t recognize it, so I asked her where it came from.  I wasn’t surprised to hear that it’s a part of a Disney movie.  This one in particular was “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.”  She told me about how much Quasimodo wanted to be a part of the festival and then he sang the song that she was singing to me.  I though that this would be a good opportunity to dispense some social wisdom.

“You know, Quasimodo didn’t look very pretty, but he was nice, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah, he liked Esmerelda!”
“We should remember that even though people look different than us, it is important to give them a chance to see how nice they can be.”  (This was my lesson to her.  See how I did that?)
“Hey, Daddy….They put Quasimodo in chains and tried to get Esmerelda, but Quasimodo broke the chains and saved her!”
“Oh.  So Quasimodo was strong and nice.” (I was trying to reinforce my point.)
“Yeah, Daddy.  He was very strong and very nice.  Just like you!”

I have to admit that I was flattered.  Of course, we didn’t discuss wether or not the disfigurement applied to me, but I think that being very strong and very nice would more than make up for the fact if it did.

I have a lot of work to do this weekend.  I need to finish a quiz, do some research, and prepare a presentation.  But the darkest cloud looming over the time with my family is taxes.  Yup, I’ll be sitting down to a table full of receipts and print-outs.

Our method last year for handling the taxes seemed to work pretty well.  Kelley took the girls outside to play while I sat at the kitchen table.  This allowed me to at least see the girls while I crunched numbers.  Most importantly, it prevented my precious little girls from hearing my malicious tirade that was aimed at the computer, the IRS, and then the rest of society.

So, with temperatures expected to hit the 70’s this weekend, it will be a perfect chance to sit at the kitchen table and send my blood pressure through the roof.  Here ya go, Uncle Sam.  I hope you enjoy wasting my money!

UPDATE - It turns out that we did fairly well planning for taxes this year.  It looks like we’re paying the feds and getting some back from the state.  Looks like we have a net total of about $200 to pay.  If it weren’t for my wife’s charitable heart, we’d be owing much more than that.

It seems that everywhere I turn, people are being hampered from their work by bureaucracy…red tape, paperwork, management, reports, etc.  I remember when I first started working at my current job.  I was constantly looking for solutions to technical problems.  I drew, designed, analyzed.  It was the work that I had trained for in college.  Contrast that with the past three days.  On paper, I’ve officially checked two drawings.  30 minutes of work…tops.  What I’ve really been doing is filling out spreadsheets, updating schedules, identifying training, mapping processes, and all kinds of other stuff that doesn’t seem to help out at all.  It’s all part of the territory of managing projects, I suppose.

Over the past three years, I have been involved with the implementation of CMMI at my office.  If you’re unfamiliar with the term, you can read the long, boring wiki article that is linked.  Once you get to the point in the article that you don’t understand what it says, come back here and we’ll be on the same page.  The short explanation is that it’s a very document-heavy way of doing things.  Make a decision, document it.  Have a meeting to discuss the decision.  Document the meeting…..and on and on and on.  (You should clearly document and label all of those “on and ons”, as well)  I used to think that being a program manager was challenging because of the work required.  Now it’s just impossible because of the documentation that’s required.  And I’m not even doing it right!

I’m working on my Masters in Engineering and Technical Management.  (Think of it as an MBA for engineers.)  My original thinking was that this would be helpful in for my program management roles and eventually, if I ever move into management.  Now, I’m rethinking all of that.  I’m wondering if I can take courses that let me go back to when I was dumb and happy.  I’m also wondering if managers get paid so much not because of what they know, but because the money is the only reason that anyone would do their job.