Shallow Thinker

Yes, I’m a slacker.  I’m fully aware of that fact.  Now, by not posting for almost a week, you should be aware of it, too.  I went on a weekend get-away with the family and didn’t update you, my faithful readers, on what was going on.  I’m an insensitive jerk.

To be completely honest, I probably could have updated this thing if I wanted to.  I could have used my blackberry to logon and then peck out some notes for your entertainment.  I didn’t.  I could have take the laptop to the deck of the main office at our destination and siphoned off some wireless access.  Then, I could have put text and graphics together and regaled you with tails of walking along a wet beach.  I didn’t.

So, here we are.  Just sitting here with the realization that I’m not as good of a blogger friend as I should be.  I hope that you can continue to live with me and visit my site.  I could promise that I’ll do better and that I’ll try really hard, but I think we both know that I won’t.  At a minimum, maybe I could feel ashamed of myself and at least offer an apology.  Eh, that would take too much typing.

How about instead, we just act like this whole thing never happened.  I’ll go along happily with my blogging life and you can cry yourself to sleep wondering if we’re slowly drifting apart.  Works for me!

Today marks the end of the weight-loss challenge at work.  I’ve chronicled most of the details in the previous fitness reports.  (Report #4, Report #3, Report #2, Report #1).  The final result this morning was a total loss of 15.8 pounds.  Of course, I should offer a disclaimer that I used some old high school techniques to temporarily drop some weight for the purposes of the weigh-in.  So, realistically, I’ve probably dropped about 10 pounds total since the program started 10 weeks ago.

When I started this initiative, I wanted to be down around 170-172 pounds.  For the past 3 weeks, I’ve consistently been below 172 and even dipped as low as 168.  I seemed to recall blogging about some numbers from our health fair last year, so I went back and pulled them up.  11 months ago, my weight was 185 and my body fat % was 18.9.  Now, I’m at 170 and the body fat percentage seems to be hovering between 15-16%.  Overall, I’m pleased with my results….so far.

This is me before the challenge (left) and after (right)

Now, I intend to change directions.  My goal is to slowly put some of the weight back on, but to do it as muscle.  To do this, I’ll need to slightly increase the number of calories that I take in each day, but I’ll need to make them protein.  This bodes well for me because I can handle protein all day long.  Peanut butter, eggs, cottage cheese…..yeah, I can put a hurtin’ on some proteins!

For strength training, I’ll be doing the P90X workout program.  It’s a 12 week program and I’m currently on week 4.  I won’t be able to do absolutely everything that is required, but I’ll at least do the primary strength training days and mix in some cardio when I can’t do the other days.  In the case of days that they do Yoga, I’ll run because I just don’t do yoga.  It requires balance and patience, neither of which I possess.

For the weight loss, I set a goal and met it.  For muscle building, I imagine that a goal will be helpful.  So, instead of a numerical goal, I’m going to set a visual goal.  I want to be ripped.  Huge arms, chiseled legs, impressive pecs, shoulders that can’t fit through the door.  Ripped.

Take a good look at me now because the next time you see me, my muscles might just be ripping through my shirt.  Or, maybe the shirt is just old.  Either way, there will probably be a hole in it.  Now move out of my way.  I gotta go eat some peanut butter eggs with cottage cheese and lentils on top.

Butterfly understands that her father loves her.  She’s not happy with everything that I tell her, but she knows that no matter what happens, I will always give her a hug and let her know that I love her.  Last night, as I was putting Ladybug to bed, Butterfly ran in and gave me a goodnight kiss and a hug.  It was comforting to know that she wanted to tell me goodnight.

Ladybug is still working on the concept.   On Sunday, she had to get into trouble for one of her many fiery fits.  She was not happy.  I was not happy.  Within minutes, she went from complete disdain to happily climbing on me as if nothing had happened.  She specifically asked for me after her nap and then clung to me for the rest of the day.  So, I’m thinking that maybe she is beginning to understand the concept.

This morning, I was carrying her down to get breakfast.  She was holding a fluffy Elmo toy that says “Elmo needs a hug!”  After some comfort, the toy sings a song and ends by saying “Elmo loves you SOOOooooOOOOOO much!”  Ladybug hugged Elmo even tighter and said “Love you too!”  It was such a sweet little scene.  Could it be that she is beginning to recognize and vocalize her feelings?

As I left for work, I gave Butterfly her hug and kiss and told her that I love her.  She reciprocated.  I moved around the table to Kelley, gave her a hug and kiss and told her I love her.  She reciprocated.  I went over to Ladybug and gave her a kiss on her soft cheek and told her that I love her.  Without hesitation, she gave me a cute smile and responded “I want more fruit.”  Yup, these are my girls.

I think I’ve mentioned before how much of a fan my wife is about television show Lost.  I watch the show on occassion, but I’m kind of indifferent on the whole thing.  It’s good entertainment, but I really don’t like to be confined to a set schedule for television.  For instance, I love The Office, but I don’t like to watch it at a set time every week.  I don’t know why, so don’t ask.

So, I’ve picked up enough of Lost to form a few predictions.  You can ask my wife to verify this, but I’ve been holding to these since this season started, but I’m just now getting around to posting them.  Be careful, they’re bold:

1. The crash survivors, or at least some of them, will be the reason that the plane crashes in the first place.  My guess for how this happens is that someone (Jack or Locke, maybe) has to make a choice.  The choices will be to either crash the plan and save their friend/friends or to let the plane go by without crashing and lose their friend/friends.

Alright, that’s my only prediction.

I can’t figure out why these shakers don’t work…

March Madness is a magical time.  When else can you hear ESPN talking about the manliest of men as a charming, blonde princess (Cinderella) and have those guys appreciate it?  Some years, I watch college basketball as much as possible.  To me, it’s a great story of how a team can work to outperform an individual.  Of course, coaching also plays a very important part.  So, you’ve got this constant battle of athleticism, techniques, planning, and adjustments.

But not this year.  I haven’t been able to watch much ball.  So, logically, the NCAA tournament won’t mean much to me, will it?  Well, remember how I told you that it’s a magical time?  See, I shouldn’t care much about the tournament but magically I’m fired-up about watching these teams compete.  (It’s similar to watching the bowls for college football.  I don’t care anything at all about Alcorn State School for Europeans but I’ll watch ‘em in a bowl game and root for them if they’re still within striking distance in the 4th quarter.)  There’s no rhyme or reason to who I’m pulling for, but usually by half-time, I’ve picked the team that I like and I’m yelling for them.  And the best part about it is that the Thursday through Sunday, there is a constant flow of games on TV.  We need to have more NCAA tournaments.

But don’t worry, I won’t neglect my family.  I’ll still spend time with them and help put the girls to bed.  But you might have to forgive me if I keep telling them the story of Cinderella.  I am having some trouble trying to figure one thing out, though.  If a group of grown men playing basketball can be described as “Cinderella”…..who is “Prince Charming”?

For a few months, my cell phone has had a slight glitch.  When I answer the phone, the earpiece volume is insanely loud and within 2-3 seconds, it automatically drops down to the normal volume.  If someone is calling me from a library, this isn’t a problem because there is no noise on their end to be amplified.  (This never happens.)  On the other hand, if someone is calling me with 2 screaming kids in the background and I answer the phone, my eardrum is nearly busted. (This is what happens every time my wife calls.)  I put up with this annoyance long enough and decided to get it fixed while my phone was still under warranty.

Attempt #1: I took my phone to the Verizon store across the street from where I work.  I piddled about looking at the new phones while I waited and after about 10 minutes, they called my name.  I went to the counter, explained my problem in detail and watched it disappear into the lifeless expression of the clerk’s face.  She took my phone from me and went to the back of the store.  After about 10 more minutes of piddling about, she came back out with my phone and…..a post it note.  She said that they couldn’t do anything with my phone and that I would have to call the number on the note in order to do something.  Eh, fair enough, I suppose.  I took the number and left.

Attempt #2: I called the number, got to the technical support person, and explained my problem.  This gentleman said that he could replace my phone, however, if they got my broken phone back and couldn’t replicate the problem, they’d charge me full price.  Nay, Nay, I said.  “My phone is under warranty and I want it fixed.  Fix it!”  He told me that the best solution would be to go to my nearest store location and have them look at it.  I explained attempt #1.  He said that these people could too fix the phone.  So, my options were to either risk having to pay full price or go back to the place that couldn’t fix it in the first place.  He had me try a couple of things to see if we could fix the problem, but we couldn’t verify if it was fixed or not because he kept calling me without kids yelling in his background.  I volunteered to send my children to his office for the sake of the experiment.  He declined.  We decided to wait a week or two and see if this fixed it.

Attempt #3: Our fix didn’t work.  Today, I mosied back over to the retail location.  I put my name in the hat and meandered around for a bit while I waited.  (This is when I realized that some of the phones in the show room are activated.  You can send a text from one to the other.  If you find the number for one, you can go to another and wait until a customer is looking at the original one and then freak ‘em out.  Go on….try it.)  Eventually, my name is called and I go through my story again.  I see the girl reaching for the post-it notes and I decide to go ahead and cut her short.  I explained Attempt #1, Attempt #2, and that I’m now here at Attempt #3.  Fortunately enough, this young lady (April at the Centerville store!) seemed to have some smarts.  She gives me the same phone number as before, but then she types something into the computer.  She tells me that she has no way of fixing the phone and has no way of getting me a new one and that I have to deal with them over the phone.  I explain to her that I’ve jumped through these hoops before and would prefer that she call the people and that between the two of them, they decide who will help me.  She told me that she will make a note on my account that I need a new phone and that I shouldn’t have to pay for it, but that I have to call the number to talk with them to get it worked out.  So, I leave attempt #3 with the same thing in my hands as attempt #1, but there is supposedly a note on my account now.

Attempt #4: I call the same number and quickly reach another tech support agent. I run through the entire story of my previous attempts, all the stuff I’ve done, what version my software is…blah, blah, blah.  She looks and says, “I see a note on your account.”  (Attagirl, April!)  This lady has me check some more settings and do some more tests.  She is smart enough to realize, though, that she and I can’t replicate the problem because she has no background noise.  I told her that she could sing or something, but she declined the opportunity and opted to take my word for it.  At the end of our conversation, she had put a new phone in a box and shipped it out to me.  It should be here next week.

So…what have we learned today?  Verizon does indeed have the most reliable network in the business.  Anytime you have a problem, you can count on them to point you in another direction!  I kid, I kid.  Today’s experience was much better than the first try.  Both ladies understood that I was having some trouble, and they did everything that they could to help me.  So, for now, I’m happy with the way it worked out.  They might not have solved my problem, but they came up with a solution that we can all live with.  Unless, of course, the phone they send me is one of those pink ones.  I can’t do pink.

There’s something cool about owning a house and getting mail.  It doesn’t matter if it’s junk mail, it still feels like someone out there loves me.  Yesterday, JCPenney loved me.  They sent me a flier with spring savings that my whole family would enjoy.  At least that’s what they told me.

I never buy anything based on these fliers, but I still look through them.  In this edition, though, I saw something strange.  Here’s the picture:

So…..when exactly did the popped collar come back into style?  Wait, let me rephrase that.  Who ever thought that it was in style to begin with? JCPenney must think we’re made of money because they want us to have two popped collars.  Boy, Howdy!

Let me be blunt with you, if I may.  If it is between April and September in middle Georgia, and someone is wearing two golf shirts, it’s not because they’re cool.

I’ve been trying to be good, but this is the last straw!  I’ve read, researched, and even modified some habits.  One of the major changes was to have fruit for snack in the morning and again in the afternoon.  This is supposed to keep me from the candy bars, chips, bear claws, twinkies, and other blessed things.

Photo from Flickr.com

Today, I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business when I decided it was time to eat my apple.  I’m not a fan of the peel, so I peeled it, sliced it, and then began to savor it for all of the chocolaty goodness that it did not have.  Lo and Behold, what’s my reward?  A piece of this thing stuck in my teeth.  (I should probably mention that I can not stand to have things in my teeth.  I mostly avoid popcorn for this very reason.)  But this little fella wasn’t just one of those things that you pick out.  Nay, it was perfectly sized.  Big enough to feel and wreak havoc on my delicate gums, but too small to fish out.  I looked around, but knew I wouldn’t find any toothpicks.  I tried a gem clip, but it was too thick…no luck.  The battle raged on for hours (or at least 15 seconds) until exhausted, the piece came from its hiding spot.

This never happened with a Twix.

Bed time can best be described by Charles Dickens as “the best of times…the worst of times.”  There’s a soothing peace that rests over our house as we read books to our girls or hold them close and sing in softened tones.  The gentility of the falling night is surpassed only by the sereneness of putting their tired, soft bodies into the bed.  On the other hand, there’s a violent eruption of anger as we chase Ladybug down to get her into her pajamas.  There’s strife and tension as we put lotion on Butterfly and brush both girls’ teeth.  One night can be so rough and nerve-wracking while another can be so soothing and restful.

Last night was both.  I stayed at church late for a meeting and came home just in time to help with bedtime. I climbed the stairs to find Butterfly sitting in her mother’s lap and being read a story.  Ladybug was wearing nothing but a diaper and went running by.  A soft, blonde blur caught the corner of my eye.  Almost immediately, she knew what was coming.  Without me even saying a word, she ran to a different room and yelled “No, Daddy.  No go bed!”  It went downhill from there.

Ladybug protested every step in our process.  “No change diaper!”  “No pajamas on me!”  “No want it, shirt on!”  I got her dressed, put her on the floor to finish her award-winning performance, and then sat on the floor.  Within 30 seconds, the crying had stopped and she was standing by my side with her head on my shoulder.  The demands of her way yielded a soft request, “Daddy sit rocking chair.  Read books?”

After the books were read and the lights were dimmed, I rocked Ladybug and sang various lullabyes (lullabies?) in varying keys (I’m such a good singer that one key cannot contain me...even in one song).  She rolled over in my lap so that she was facing me.  Gently, she leaned up and gave me a kiss on my cheek, and then relaxed her head on my chest.  The fury of her storm had given way to the melodic rhythm of the rocking chair.

Yesterday was my first Marathon-O-Exams.  I was indeed able to start the first one on Monday and then finish it up on Wednesday.  This probably put me at a slight advantage to the other students because I was able to see what was on the test.  However, the way I worked through it probably minimized that impact.  But the final tally on the first exam was right at 3 hours.  A standard exam…3 hours.  I’m one of those people who seems to take tests well and I guarantee that some of the other students in that classroom needed more than 4 to complete it.  I’ve heard numerous accounts that this professor’s final exam can last more than 6 hours.  I think he needs some help.

Exam #2 was e-mailed to me around 10:00 AM, and I finished the last problem around 11:00 PM.  I probably put about 4 hours in on that one.  The good news is that it was a mid-term, so I won’t have another one like it until the final.  The downside is that there are really only two exams and I hope I did well on this one!

So, no more exams for a few weeks.  The swirl of academics is now yielding to the swirl of meetings and business.  My advice to you youngsters out there is if you want to get an additional degree, do it while you’re there.  In some ways it’s easier to get the master’s now, but in others, it’s harder.  Time constraints being one of the “others.”  So, stay in school.  And don’t do drugs.

Some scientists have been theorizing for years, but it looks like there now may be evidence to support their claims.  Apparently, and remember, this is just a theory, but apparently, when water gets really, really cold it turns to ice.  This seems innocent enough, right?  Freezing water can, after all, be a lot of fun.  (Evidence of fun found here)  But if conditions are just right, this ice just might form on a road.   What if someone tries to drive on that road?

Apparently, some of the drivers in my area did not get the memo about ice and its effects on driving.  There was a wreck this morning on the highway that I take to work.  And right after that wreck, was another one in the same spot.  While I was patiently waiting to get around these two wrecks, one happened about a half mile behind me.  All of these were because of ice on the highway.  So, obviously, ice on the roads presents a concern around here.   But what if, that ice could be controlled…

One thing that you may notice in the picture shown in the online article (click here) is that there is road construction underway.  Authorities blame the ice on the road to “a water main break.”  Far be it from me to ever tell the authorities that they’re wrong, but I’d like to inform them that they’re wrong.  Anyone that travels this road knows how horribly planned this construction has been.  Included in this lack-of-planning effort is a failure to control water drainage.  Every time it rains, huge puddles and streams form across the interstate in this exact same location.  While there may have indeed been a water main break in the are, ice would have still been present if there were not.  The “authorities” seem to forget that there was a similar accident in the same location…YESTERDAY!

It’s a shame that I have to drive with all of these other idiots on the road because if one of them causes me to wreck, the only people to come to my rescue are “the authorities.”  *sigh*