Shallow Thinker

An anonymous source in my office has requested that I join him in a sprint triathlon. For those who aren’t aware, here are the requirements for said event:

Swim - 750 m (0.47 mi)
Bike - 20 km (12.4 mi)
Run - 5 km (3.1 mi)

So, other than the fact that I don’t have a bicycle, tight shorts, goggles, a cool swimmy hat, special shoes or adequate training…is this a good idea?

Photo from user ERM72 on Flickr - Note the goggles, caps, and other swimming stuff. I have mesh shorts.

In our last installment, we learned that engineers can use the internet.  We also learned that sometimes, they have the ability to discern between a research paper and a sales pitch from a website.  Let’s see what exciting, new adventures await our boring, old graduate student.

Saturday night around 10:30, I saw a little flashing indicator on the screen.  I pulled up the new message that had arrived and it was from the guy that sent me his paper.  It said something like “Good thing you checked the file.  Here’s the real copy.”  I opened it up and there were 10 pages, single-spaced.  I figured that it could have been a mistake the first time around and went to bed Saturday night with a Sunday full of editing looming over me.

Sunday afternoon I opened the new document.  The first two paragraphs were indeed written by the gentleman in question.  It was painfully obvious.  I forwarded them to Kelley because I knew that as an editor, she would appreciate this guy’s butchering of the English language.  (I think she cried herself to sleep after reading it.) Subject and verb agreement was out of the question, but it would have been nice if they would at least have been on the same topic.

After the first two paragraphs, a miracle occurred.  The writing suddenly became clear and coherent.  Words like “insidious” and “disproportionate” began to sprout across the paper.  So, once again, I used my keen grasp of the googles and located various websites that had been copied and pasted.  I will give him credit for at least changing his sources this time…but not much.

The most hilarious (sad?) part of the whole thing is that in his revised paper, the conclusion paragraph was lifted straight from a website.  The final paragraph and the last chance to salvage any dignity that remains…from a website.

In about 30 minutes, I completed my long day of editing.  I sent the file out to the offender with my comments and the hyperlinks to the websites that were used.  I also suggested that he contact the professor for some guidance.  My rationale to him was that maybe I didn’t understand the assignment very well and the professor could clear that up.  And then, I took my googling and editing skills and did the only thing that I knew would make a difference.  I went swimming with my girls, had an awesome dinner with some great friends, and played with legos.

Want to hear a boring story with a funny ending? Well, actually, it’s a funny middle part, but I don’t know the ending yet, so for our purposes, it’s the ending even though it’s really the middle. So, we’re all on the same page of the middle-ending. Boring. Right?

One of the classes that I’m taking this semester is called “Workplace Research Methods.” It’s a good overview of the different types of research that are common in industry and it goes through things like how to present numerical data, how to properly reference sources, how do do a literature review, etc. (See, I told you it had boring parts. But hold on.) We spent a week talking about how to do sources and the importance of proper references. We provided two assignments the were based on the premise of finding, using, and properly citing sources. Our professor wrote the book on how to do sources. Literally.

For this class, we have one last assignment with multiple parts. (1) Write a 10-12 page research paper, (2) turn it in for peer review, (3) review someone’s paper (the professor assigns who we look at) (4) edit our own paper per our peer’s help and (5) submit the final draft. I was under the impression that #1 was due this upcoming Sunday night. When I looked at the course website yesterday, I found that this was not the case. The paper is actually due this evening at 8:00. AaaaaAAAAAAhhhHHHHHHH! I cobbled together my best BS and voila…..8 pages. Not good enough. I threw in some not-very-helpful graphics and modified the formatting a little and, WOO-HOO, 10 pages.

This morning, I e-mailed my paper off for review and a few minutes later, I received the paper that I am to review. I knew it going into this, but my weekend wasn’t looking too good. I essentially have 48 hours to read and critique a colleagues 10-12 page paper.

But lady luck was on my side.  First, the guy I’m reviewing didn’t read the instruction very well. His 10 pages were double-spaced instead of the single-spacing that was required. Sweet, my work-load just got cut in half. Ah, what’s this?  The 10 pages counts his title page and references. Even less to read now!

I got about three paragraphs into the paper and realized that the tone and style were very odd. I highlighted a sentence, pasted it into Google, and…wow. Just wow. 70% of the paper was lifted verbatim from a website. I did a little extra pasting from the areas that didn’t match the first source and found that another 20% came from a different website and the remaining 10% from a third. Not rephrased, not quoted, not glanced at in an awkward manner.  Lifted straight from the internet.

Let me stop here and ask if I’ve mentioned that our professor is familiar with how sources should be handled? I have?  Maybe I should mention that this guy copied from readily available on-line sources. It’s wrong to plagiarize, don’t get me wrong, but if you’re going to do it, why copy from something that’s so easily traceable? I suppose that those who aren’t smart enough to do it without getting caught are stupid enough to do it in the first place. At any rate, I slapped a big note across the entire paper that said something about the proper way to use and reference sources and I sent it on its way. And as a reward for his stupidity, my weekend just got a lot better!

In reality, my paper probably stinks. I’m sure that I rambled on incoherently (a trademark of my writing style) and came to conclusions that were completely irrelevant to my research. It’s what I do.  When the final grade is issues, I will probably lean closer to an F than an A.  But, you can bet your bottom dollar that I will hold my head high and quote my Uncle Joel: “At least it was an honest F.”

PS - Did I mention that the professor is a bit of a stickler for not plagiarizing?

Image is from a post on West Georgia's website regarding plagiarism. I hope it's not plagiarism for me to "borrow" it here.

A few weeks ago, I took a Friday off to help my family celebrate my 30th birthday.  We contemplated taking the girls to the Atlanta Zoo, but then someone (I think it was me) mentioned Dauset Trails.  We haven’t been to either one with the girls, so we weighed our options.  Zoo: $50+ for entry, 1.5 hour drive each way, + meals.  Dauset Trails: $0 entry, 30 minute drive each way, + meals.  Since it was my birthday weekend, I chose to spend less money and spend less time in the car and we headed off.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect.  It was slightly overcast and the temperature never got above 85.  We arrived earlier than most visitors, so we had our run of the place for a couple of hours.   We weren’t out of the car for 15 seconds and they were already running along the trails.  (Unfortunately, they ran too much at the start and our adventure ended with Ladybug on Mommy’s back and Butterfly on mine.) The animal trail was a hit as the girls ran from cage to cage and pointed out everything.  Butterfly seemed interested in identifying each animal while Ladybug seemed interested in the job between animals.  Here’s a rundown of our journey:

Animal Trail - Lazy otters, a bald eagle, several owls, raccoons trying to escape, a black bear, a couger, bison, ducks, lots of turtles, and various other creatures
Reptile Room - Snakes, turtles and little alligators.  And a bathroom break.
Garden Trail - This was a nice, shady walk that let to the Children’s Garden.  At the end were a bunch of stones that the girls could jump between…and they did.
Lotus Pond - Absolutely beautiful.  Butterfly and I decided that this is where the Fairies live.

I was wearing my Run4Missions shirt and one of the workers mentioned that I might be interested in trying out some of their trails sometime.  It sounded cool, so she got some information for me.  Apparently I had just missed a little race that they had the weekend before.  It was a 15K.  That’s a lot of K’s.

Once the weather gets cooler for good, I think that we’ll visit Dauset Trails again.  Most likely, it will be without all of the K’s, but it was definitely a great day and a wonderful way to say goodbye to my twenties.  Here are a few pictures:

I’m not sure what happened, but when I stepped outside on Saturday morning, it felt like fall. Except that all of the trees were still green. And there was no football on later that day. But it was an amazingly crisp, cool morning. We just happened to have a Preschool Water Day scheduled at the church. So, with my wife’s blessing, I put on my jogging shoes and left the house a little earlier than everyone else and ran to the church. I estimated that it was somewhere between five and eight miles and would take most of the strength that I had.

It’s amazing how much difference the temperature makes when you’re outside. I haven’t felt that good running since the last time it was less than 80 degrees. I made it the 4.4 miles to the church (apparently I’m not good with math) and felt great. My goal is to do a 10K sometime in the fall and to not finish last. Ambitious, I know, but you got to set the bar high. Actually, the run to the church didn’t tire me out near as much as the water day did.

On the lawn, we set-up water slides, pools, hoses, squirters, and a couple of shade tents. Butterfly is an old pro at these things. This was the first one that Ladybug could really appreciate. It took once down the big slide and she was hooked. Her little legs just weren’t quite tall enough to climb to the top by herself. I think I lifted her to the top of the slide about 50 times. No exaggeration. The girl is fearless.

Saturday evening, I made it through Atlanta traffic in time for a Friend’s wedding. It’s always cool to see two people taking their vows and pledging their lives to each other. I was able to talk with some friends from work and catch up with a couple of people from college. I enjoyed a few small samples and eyed the buffet that was in the back room, but I felt a tug to get back home before it got too late. As I snuck out of the reception, I happened upon the newlyweds. They had taken a few moments for themselves and were sharing a meal together in the quietness of the building’s lobby. They were sitting at a small table looking out of a huge window. Spread in front of them was a beautiful view of Atlanta’s skyline. The scene was very poignant. A new couple stealing away together staring out over the horizon of tomorrow.

I haven’t been a good blogger this week, I know. The weekend and next week aren’t looking too good, either. Essentially, the summer semester is ending with a couple of research papers due and a take home final. At work, I have about three projects that are nearing their end, so everything is full steam ahead in order to meet the deadlines.

Unfortunately, you guys don’t get to hear my keen insight on whatever random though pops into my head during the day. And for that, I apologize. Hopefully, once I’ve knocked out these research papers and gotten a grasp on some reports at work, I’ll return to my dazzling prose and magnificent narrative. Until then, please accept my apologies. Maybe you’ll find a way to make it.

Oh, you might want to check my flickr pool over on the side of the blog page. I’ll keep that up-to-date so that you can see what I’m up to. Maybe. I’ll at least try. Possibly. Probably not.

Some things are OK to get mixed-up.  Some things are not.  And, there is the third category where it’s OK to mix-up something one way, but not the other way.  Confused?  Let me give you an example.

– When you go to work-out and you accidentally brought your towel instead of your notebook where you keep your routine documented, this is OK.
– When you step out of the shower after a workout and look for your towel to dry off but all you brought with you is your workout notebook, this is not OK.

I thought you might like to know.

In January, I built a silly little contraption to help us sort our recyclables a little easier.  In the past 6 months, it’s been rained on and baked by the sun a little bit.  This caused me to think that it needed some type of protective coating.  As luck would have it, we just happened to have a bunch of little paint cans laying around the garage.  And then, as it so often does, my bran took a horribly wrong turn.

Yesterday, Kelley needed to get some grocery shopping done.  It seemed to me to be the perfect opportunity to get the girls to “help” me paint this contraption.  We put on some old clothes, found all of our brushes, and then I opened up the little cans of paint in the garage.  What I expected to happen was a slight mess, but some general covering of the wood.  What actually happened was a general mess and a slight covering of the wood.  At one point, Ladybug let out a sad cry and when I glanced at her, she had paint all over her face.  Either the brush slipped or she decided to eat the paint.  Either way, it was funny.

They dripped so much paint on the floor that when they walked, it left little, colored footprints all over the garage.  Pretty soon, as I suspected, they became bored with painting the wood and moved on to the plastic bins.  This wasn’t my item of choice, but it kept them busy enough for me to circle out structure and coat it with the paint that we had left…which just happened to be green.

Once we were done, I stepped back and marveled that I could actually see parts of the floor.  And, the only remaining item was clean-up.  So, I took my little paint spreaders into the backyard and let them play in the sprinkler.  This isn’t exactly the way that the labels said that we were supposed to clean the paint, but it worked well.

Moral of the story, if you have an item that you’d like painted, let us know.  We’ll spend about 5 minutes with it and in no time, your floor will be a different color.

Today is my last day living in my 20’s.  So long, 20’s.  You were good to me:

• finished college
• got a job
• got married
• found a great church family
• bought a house
• got another job
• had a kid
• had another kid

There’s probably some details that fits between these bullet points, but now that I’m crossing over, I realize that my brain can’t hold as much information as before.  The room is slowly going dark.  I can’t hear as well as I could yesterday.  I need some metamucil.  Sigh…  The next time you see me, please be kind.  And don’t shake my hand too hard, my bones are brittle.

At least I sent the 20’s out with a bang today.  I’ll blog about it later.  If I can remember it.  Things are already hazy in my old mind.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are my strength training days.  You can tell because I look much stronger on Monday night, Wednesday Night, and Friday nights.  That leaves Tuesdays, sometimes Thursdays, and the occassional weekend for my cardio workouts.  That’s why I look more trim on those occassions.  Those of you who only see me on the weekends are unfortunate because you don’t get to see me at my muscular peaks.

Since today is Tuesday, I needed to do some cardio.  I wore a tie to work because I have to give a presentation and because I’m being beat-down by The Man.  By the time the presentation was over, it was 11:45.  The sun was baking the pavement.  I didn’t want to change clothes just to have to shower and…… heck, even thinking of excuses was getting tiring.  And thinking of lunch was making me hungry. It’s too hot.  It’s too late.  I’m too hungry.  I’d like to keep the muscular look, so I don’t want to get too trim.

Just to make sure I was right, I pulled up the weather on my computer.  Something was wrong.  Does that say 80 degrees?  No way!  Yes way!  Well, maybe lunch could wait a few minutes.  And come to think of it, I shouldn’t rip another shirt because these guns are growing out of control.  Maybe a run isn’t completely crazy.  So, I changed into my tiny umbros and hit the road for 3 miles.

Editor’s Note: No, this graphic isn’t from today’s run.  I would put that one up, but my GPS is all the way on the other side of my office.  So I’ll post this graphic from last week where I decided that given the choice between another horrible run like that and a business meeting, I would choose death.

Additional Editor’s Note: Here’s today’s run.  Because you really wanted to know.

Since work gave me a holiday, I was looking forward to stretching my standard weekend of doing nothing over three days.  It looked like a daunting task, but I was willing to take on the challenge.  Until Friday morning.  I woke up with some amazing pain in my stomach.  The rest of the day I spent curled up in a ball on the bed.  A paid holiday and I’m laying in the bed hoping to puke.  Blah.

Fortunately, by Saturday morning, I was feeling a little better.  I was pretty weak from not eating at all on Friday, but it didn’t take me long to get out of the slump.  First thing Saturday morning, we all went to the playground.  After some follow-the-leader, we took a tour of Mt. Zion’s cemetery.  Butterfly likes to stand up flower containers that have fallen over and Ladybug likes to just walk around like she owns the place.  After a brief snack at the house, the girls and I washed the dogs.  Immediately after we got done drying them, they ran to a pile of sand and rolled around.  So, we decided to wash the cars instead.  Butterfly helped by rubbing her rag around on everything that she could.  Ladybug took the hose and sprayed everything possible.  Flowers, grass, trees, bricks…herself…me.  Then came lunch and rest.  After everyone rested for a few minutes, we loaded up the van and headed to Rickie and Sheri’s for a cook-out with some friends.  We celebrated the holiday, combined with my upcoming birthday, by swimming, grilling, and then running around the Baucom’s house like wild animals.  Well, the kids ran around the house.  I sat by the pool and made up games for Gabby and Noah to play.  and then we rested.

Sunday morning was church.  Afterward, we had lunch and Ladybug was tired.  After a small protest, she let me rock her and put her to sleep.  I still love the feeling of her soft head lying on my shoulder.  When she drifted off, I took Butterfly to help me find a Father’s Day present for my dad.  (I don’t know what prompted my mind, but I suddenly realized that I hadn’t gotten on for him. Sorry, Pa!) We played more than we shopped.  We had a fun time.  When we got home, the girls and I made “surprises” for Kelley while she went grocery shopping.  We capped the evening with supper on a picnic blanket with a movie.  The girls loved it.  Kelley and I decided that Dora is one of the slowest moving shows on the planet.

So, that was the weekend and I didn’t do anything that needed to get done.  But I accomplished a lot.

I have theories about a lot of stuff.  Some theories relate to individuals, others are for how groups operate and interact.  These theories come out of my desire to recognize the patterns within my life.  I think that I can negotiate most situations if I can just recognize the pattern.

One of my secret hobbies (well, except to you three) is trying to figure out what makes people tick.  I thoroughly enjoy the attempt to discover the psychology behind the decisions, words, and actions of those around me.  My theory is that if I can completely understand where you’re coming from, I can appreciate your views and can interact with you more efficiently.  That may sound nice, but I’m basically just trying to understand the pattern to your personality.  (Don’t worry, this isn’t something that I do at night with sheets of paper spread across the floor.  It’s all churning away in the back of my mind.)

One of my theoretical patterns is that people desire a major change in their lives every once-in-a-while.  Of course, the adjective “major” is relative to the person and “once-in-a-while” depends heavily on the individual.  Common shifts are a new car, new job, lifestyle changes, marriage, kids, home improvements, etc.  My theory also holds that minor changes sustain us for small periods of time, but we still look to move towards big changes.  Some people do well and make changes that are positive.  Others can’t put their finger on what they need and end up with some self-destructive changes to meet the urge.  So, according to my theory, something has to shift or redirect our focus every so often or else we begin to feel “trapped” or burnt out on life.

It’s an OK theory, but difficult to prove or test.  And, what does that have to do with everyday life?  I think my theory applies to the workplace, as well.  Within organizations, people are looking for some type of shift.  A new type of work, more responsibility, a different seating location.  Managers are no exception to this rule.  Some are able to understand the business environment and ensure that their changes are positive.  Others just want to change things and the results end poorly.

My company is not immune to this characteristic.  An order will be sent out within the next week or two for some new business cards.  Under my name will be the word “manager.”  I just wish they could have made a positive change instead.