Shallow Thinker

You’ll have to forgive my delayed report from thed USMC Mud Run, but I am just now able to move my arms again. I still haven’t gotten all of the thick, black mud out of my ears. This event was tough, dirty, exhausting, disgusting, and extremely demanding. And I’m doing it again next year.

First, I must admit that there were some logistical problems at the event.  Traffic getting in and out of the place was horrendous.  My clumsiness typing in the address on the way in had me come in from a different way than most participants, so I didn’t face all of the traffic coming in.  And leaving, I paid attention to how the lines were moving and managed to get out within 30 minutes.  Others in my group waited for over an hour.  In addition, the wait lines for showers were pretty long.  After a big romp in some thick mud, they could have at least run us through a lake to help wash off.  But, the organizers are aware of the problems and will be doing some modifications to help alleviate those problems for next year.

The course itself was pretty cool.  Due to a family emergency for one of our team members, we ended up running the race with three members instead of four.  We were not the most in shape group there (which is evident looking through the official race photos) but I am very proud of my teammates Lala and Scott.  The Warrior Dash back in May was simply a race that you do on your own.  This one required you to rely on your team.  And in some cases, we had to rely on other teams.

Most of the obstacles weren’t anything that required much thinking.  There were numerous instance where we just had to go over or under logs.  But two obstacles stood out as the ones that took the most help from others.  ”The Weaver” was nearly impossible.  By the time we hit it, most of our upper-body strength was gone and the thing was packed with teams trying to get through.  The other is one that wasn’t even on the map.  The event organizers called it “the mud pit” but most of the participants called it “the tar pit.”  It was a big pit filled with the thickest, blackest mud that I’ve ever seen.  The Marine manning that station told our team to run along the side, jump in at the halfway point, and then exit at the end.  Easy enough, right?  It took us 15 minutes to make it through about 10 feet of this stuff.  I don’t know how I managed to pull myself out, but I didn’t think we were going to be able to get Scott out.  Here’s a picture of the stuff from one of the other participants.

So at the end of the day, my team managed to make it through all of the obstacles and come out on the other end without any major injuries.  If you’re interested in more photos, check out the Facebook page or the official photography page. (My team # was 1788.)

I posted way back in January about an event that only an idiot would do. (Linked here).  As luck would have it, several of my coworkers were stupid enough to join me in the warrior dash.  The event was supposed to be 3.2 miles with about a dozen obstacles.  The number of obstacles was about right, but the total distance was only about two and a half miles.  I’m not complaining at all, but it wasn’t near as bad as I expected.

We’ve already started looking forward to next year.  After some discussions with Brian (my partner in crime in the last picture below) we decided that there really wasn’t any training that we could have done to prepare us and next year (heck year, we’re doing it again!) we’ll just run at it.

Since that one was so easy, we decided to sign up for one that looked a little more challenging.  At the end of this week, we’re going to take on the USMC Mud Run.  4.2 miles and 30+ obstacles.  It sounded awesome when we signed up for it.  But this weekend, they began to post some details on Facebook from some groups that tried the course out.

• “Plan on teamwork or plan to take the penalty.”
• “Work on your upper body…you will need it BIG time!!!”
• “Yes I think more upper body strength is needed for this year! The 10ft wall that everyone is worried about is nothing compared to a couple of the new obstacles!!!”
• “you have to have endurance like never before…the obstacles at the end require you be full of energy and by the time you get to the end you are beat…very physically draining, especially upper body for us!”
• “Save all the energy you can. When I told runners that they were at the halfway point, they thought I was joking. The majority of the second half of the course requires upper body strength. I don’t think many of the teams that ran today were prepared for that.”
• “The course is do-able, but it’s not a walk in the park either. Definitely work as a team. You’ll need each other to complete the course. Yes, upper-body and core ab strength is needed! For new Mud Runners, do not take this course lightly. It is something you have to train for. If you are not running it to make a certain time, then TAKE YOUR TIME and BE CAREFUL. I should know - let’s just say, “Mud Run, 1 - Marilyn, 0″!”

Ah, crap.  I’ve signed myself up for another suicide run, haven’t I?  Here’s to hoping that the pictures below (from the Warrior Dash) are not the last ones of me smiling after a muddy event…

I have not written in a while because…um….because…I’m very important.  No, no one will buy that.  Because I’ve been very busy!  Well, you probably know better than that as well.  Well, I have been a bit busy, but I suppose that I’m mostly lazy.  So there, you know the truth.  Let’s get on with it, shall we?

I haven’t posted a health update in a while (all previous ones located here), so you are probably wondering if I’ve become a muscle-bound hero, a ball of dough, or a spaghetti noodle of a man.  Sadly, none of these have come to fruition.  I have managed to pad my stats a bit, so here’s the lowdown.

One year ago:
Weight -168
Body Fat % - 17%
# of Pull ups during one workout  - 8
Typical Run Distance - 3 miles
Calories per day - What? Who in the heck keeps up with that?

Today:
Weight -194
Body Fat % - 22%
# of Pull ups during one workout  - 83
Typical Run Distance - 4 miles
Calories per day - More!

I am still doing the P90X workouts and have probably seen more increase in weight and reps this time around.  I’ve also started doing more than just three of the workouts, so maybe that helps, too.

Back in June of last year, I took a picture so that I can have something to compare against.  Maybe in June of this year I’ll have enough courage to post them, but I’d have to warn you that there is a lot of pale chest area showing.  I think the FCC might shut this place down.

At any rate, there are my results for your interpretation.  I think that the numbers speak for themselves.  Of course, no one knows what they’re saying, but they still feel inclined to talk.

Last Year

Three weeks have passed and I am just now getting around to updating on my resolutions past and my resolutions forward.  First, let’s take a peak at last year and see what I said.  (CLICK HERE)  Well, it looks like I only had one resolution.  And I didn’t get it.  But not to worry.  I have an explanation!

Photo from Photobucket. Found by google. Completely stolen from the internet.

While I did not weigh 172 in July, I did hit the target weight in March.  I combined better and leaner eating habits with a lot of cardio and dropped down to around 168 at my lowest point.  While I weighed less and was in better shape, I wasn’t very comfortable.  Every time the wind blew, I had to grab onto something to keep from blowing away.  So in March or April, I started to do more strength training.  I started a modified version of P90X where I did my own cardio and disregarded his insane nutritional guide.  I’m not going to work-out AND eat healthy.  That’s just silly!

So, the results?  I’m up to 192 right now.  A 24 pound swing!  From what I can tell, I’m putting on about the same percentage of fat and muscle as I had before the climb.  So while I am getting heavier, I’m putting on some muscle weight.  Also, I kicked the Mountain Dew habit early last year.  Unfortunately, I started drinking Coke at the end of this year.  But, I’ve already kicked that habit, too.  (I’m thinking about doing some heavy drugs just so I can say that I stopped doing them.)

So for a final rating on last year against my resolution, I give myself four smiley faces and a thumbs-up.  (Note: Grading scale is arbitrary and pointless.  Just like my resolutions.)

This Year

So, what are my goals for this year?  Glad you asked.  I decided to take my own advice and set one goal that is achievable and one that is nearly impossible.  You can match them to the correct category.

• Finish my masters degree.  I am currently taking classes #8 and #9 with #10 on tap for the summer.  This has me crossing the finish line in August.  hopefully.
• Become Massive.  Like the incredible hulk.  I want to have muscles on top of my muscles.  But I don’t want to work too hard for it.  Actually, I don’t want to work at all.  Maybe I need to get my hands on some good steroids. Do you know any suppliers?

So that’s the review and the projection.  Should I have included anything else?

I believe that I may have mentioned my affection for Wipeout and American Gladiators before.  I think that the draw is that I am naive enough to believe that I could actually compete in events like these.  I’ve even been on the look-out for tryouts in my area, but thus far, California remains definitively not in my area.  It’s unfortunate, really.

But what if I had a chance to do something like this.  Would I actually do it or would I shy away?  Let’s say that someone made a running course that was 3.22 miles.  And suppose it had some obstacles.  Like jumping over fire.  And climbing a cargo net.  And rappelling down a wall.  Maybe even crawling through mud.  Stupid, right? How much would someone have to pay you to do things like this?

As it turns out, you only have to pay $45 to subject yourself to such torture.  You actually have to pay them?!  Yeah, that’s right.  Who in their right mind would be stupid enough to do something so dangerous and actually pay for the opportunity to do it?

I’m in the 2:00 wave for the Southeastern round.  May 22.
www.warriordash.com

You do get a free warrior helmet.

Saturday was a LONG day.  It started bright-and-early with a 5K and ended dark-and-late with me asleep on the couch.  There was a bunch of dressing up, door knocking, candy getting, and girl giggling.  Somewhere between the excitement and the exhaustion, I realized that my Butterfly is growing up.  Allow me to recap a portion of the morning:

After I finished the 5K, I walked back along the course until I met Kelley and Heather.  I walked the last mile with them.  By the time we made it to the car to wait on the in-laws to bring the girls to the event, I had logged about 8 miles.  Little did I know that the day had several more in store.  Around 9:30, Kelley and I were faced with the fact that Butterfly’s 1-mile fun run started at 10:00 while she and her sister were trapped at our house.  Apparently, we did not leave them a key for our van.

With frustration and fury, I drove QLAB (quick like a bunny) to our house, grabbed Butterfly and then darted back to the event.  I stopped at the house just long enough for Kelley to jump out (she did a nice roll when she hit the grass) and take care of Ladybug and come along a few minutes behind us.  Fury took over once again as we sped quickly to the park, grabbed a parking spot, and jumped out.  In order to make it on time, I allowed Butterfly to climb on my back and “we” ran the 1/2 mile from the parking to the starting line.  Exhausted, I made it with about a minute to spare.

Butterfly was excited.  I had prepped her about how we were going to do the whole mile this time.  (She cheated with me last time.)  We also discussed how we weren’t going to run as fast as we could at the beginning, but we should just jog.  She nodded in agreement.  Then, with a few more moments to spare, I suggested that we stretch a little.  I raised my arms high, then touched my toes, then stretched my calves a little.  Butterfly did not follow suit.  Instead, she gave me a penetrating stare.  I knelt down beside her and asked “What’s wrong?  Are you OK?”  With a loud whisper and darting eyes she responded “Daddy, you’re embarrassing me!”

Oh dear.

Sore ankles.  My soleus is inflamed.  My knees just can’t take the pounding.  It’s tough to do it alone.  The excuses finally gained enough volume that I pulled myself off the road for the past month and a half.  I had been working up to a 10K (and had actually achieved a decent time), but I was tapped out.  Running became more difficult and painful than it was enjoyable and rewarding.  I became a yuppie and took to the elliptical with its fancy little TV and it’s acceptance of whatever pace I wanted to go.

Then last Wednesday happened.  Kelley was mentioning all the things on our calendar and I was filing the items away in my “to be forgotten” folder.  And then I heard it.  “…and we’re doing the 5K that Saturday…”  My mind took a moment and then threw me back to reality.  “Wait.  A 5K?  For what?”  My wife claims that I gave my approval, but I’m still skeptical.  This Saturday, we’re supposed to run a 5K.  Given the number of excuses that I’ve piled up over the past couple of months, I could easily justify showing up for my T-shirt and then disappearing into the crowd.

But this race is a little different.  It’s for a local group called Jay’s Hope.  Jay’s story alone is enough to make me thankful for the life that I have.  The fact that there are ten’s of thousands of similar stories around our globe completely humbles me.

Jay’s Hope 5k, Catie’s Cure Classic, and other similar events help to raise funds for childhood cancer research.  By participating in these events, you not only get a t-shirt, you help to boost the numbers and the recognition for these events.  For example, in the running world, races are judged by how many people cross the finish line.  By dragging my sorry excuse for a body around the race course, I provide this group with a little boost in their ratings.  And their race looks a little better to the potential sponsors and runners next year.  And the message of childhood cancer is broadcast further.

I don’t expect to win this race.  Heck, I don’t even think that I’ll place in my age group (I’ve moved up to be with the old guys that run a lot).  Judging by the past month, I won’t even come close to my recent personal best that I hit back in May.  But I will finish.  And I will add one more to the total that crosses the finish line. I don’t think that my frivolous complaints about sore muscles will deter me from getting out there and getting passed by small children and elderly couples.

If you’re around, please consider joining me in being a warm body to cross the line.  (http://www.jayshope.org/pdf/Raceregform09.pdf)  If you’re not nearby, please consider contributing towards research for finding a cure for childhood cancer.

It’s been a while since I’ve reported my health statistics, so I figure I’m due for a confession.  At the start of my health initiative, January of this year, I had these numbers -

Weight        - 179 lb
Fat %          - 18.4% (33 pounds)
Muscle %    - 62.5% (112 pounds)

Around May, once I bounced back from the weight-loss competition, my statistics hovered in this range:

Weight        - 172 lb
Fat %          - 16.5% (28 pounds)
Muscle %    - 61% (105 pounds)

So, essentially, I lost some of the fat, but I also lost some of the muscle, too.

Over the past 4-5 months, I have worked-out on a more consistent basis than ever before.  My weakness has been with cardio, but I’ve still managed to run about twice a week.  Unfortunately, I have drifted away from the focused eating habits.  My intent has been to intake more protein for making muscle.  (Boy have I put a hurting on some peanut butter.)  At any rate, here are the statistics:

Weight        - 184 lb
Fat %          - 20.0% (37 pounds)
Muscle %    - 63% (116 pounds)

Wow…is that right?  I actually have more fat on my body now that I did before I started?  Wait a minute…something’s fishy here.  For the first drop, I lost 7 pounds muscle and 5 pounds of fat for a total loss of….7 pounds?  Then, when I gained weight back, I gained 11 pounds of muscle and 9 pounds of fat for a total gain of…12 pounds.

You know, I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say that the scales that I have aren’t 100% accurate.  It’s just a guess, but I think I might be on to something.

Realistically, I think I’m doing OK.  I have not yet reached my goal of “massive,” but I’m getting there.  Actually, I’d bet that most people wouldn’t notice much of a change in my physique, but I can tell that I’ve gotten a bit stronger and a bit more definition in my muscles.  Just the other day I was able to open a jar of pickles all by myself!  Granted, I’ve probably added some unnecessary weight, too.  Kelley has already fired a warning shot across the bow to let me know that I still need to watch the calories that I take in.  But, as a broad overview, I’ve put on about 5 pounds in the last 9 months and I’m pretty comfortable with how I’ve done it.  I would post some before and after pictures, but I don’t want anyone to make fun of my pasty-white skin.

I’m not sure what happened, but when I stepped outside on Saturday morning, it felt like fall. Except that all of the trees were still green. And there was no football on later that day. But it was an amazingly crisp, cool morning. We just happened to have a Preschool Water Day scheduled at the church. So, with my wife’s blessing, I put on my jogging shoes and left the house a little earlier than everyone else and ran to the church. I estimated that it was somewhere between five and eight miles and would take most of the strength that I had.

It’s amazing how much difference the temperature makes when you’re outside. I haven’t felt that good running since the last time it was less than 80 degrees. I made it the 4.4 miles to the church (apparently I’m not good with math) and felt great. My goal is to do a 10K sometime in the fall and to not finish last. Ambitious, I know, but you got to set the bar high. Actually, the run to the church didn’t tire me out near as much as the water day did.

On the lawn, we set-up water slides, pools, hoses, squirters, and a couple of shade tents. Butterfly is an old pro at these things. This was the first one that Ladybug could really appreciate. It took once down the big slide and she was hooked. Her little legs just weren’t quite tall enough to climb to the top by herself. I think I lifted her to the top of the slide about 50 times. No exaggeration. The girl is fearless.

Saturday evening, I made it through Atlanta traffic in time for a Friend’s wedding. It’s always cool to see two people taking their vows and pledging their lives to each other. I was able to talk with some friends from work and catch up with a couple of people from college. I enjoyed a few small samples and eyed the buffet that was in the back room, but I felt a tug to get back home before it got too late. As I snuck out of the reception, I happened upon the newlyweds. They had taken a few moments for themselves and were sharing a meal together in the quietness of the building’s lobby. They were sitting at a small table looking out of a huge window. Spread in front of them was a beautiful view of Atlanta’s skyline. The scene was very poignant. A new couple stealing away together staring out over the horizon of tomorrow.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are my strength training days.  You can tell because I look much stronger on Monday night, Wednesday Night, and Friday nights.  That leaves Tuesdays, sometimes Thursdays, and the occassional weekend for my cardio workouts.  That’s why I look more trim on those occassions.  Those of you who only see me on the weekends are unfortunate because you don’t get to see me at my muscular peaks.

Since today is Tuesday, I needed to do some cardio.  I wore a tie to work because I have to give a presentation and because I’m being beat-down by The Man.  By the time the presentation was over, it was 11:45.  The sun was baking the pavement.  I didn’t want to change clothes just to have to shower and…… heck, even thinking of excuses was getting tiring.  And thinking of lunch was making me hungry. It’s too hot.  It’s too late.  I’m too hungry.  I’d like to keep the muscular look, so I don’t want to get too trim.

Just to make sure I was right, I pulled up the weather on my computer.  Something was wrong.  Does that say 80 degrees?  No way!  Yes way!  Well, maybe lunch could wait a few minutes.  And come to think of it, I shouldn’t rip another shirt because these guns are growing out of control.  Maybe a run isn’t completely crazy.  So, I changed into my tiny umbros and hit the road for 3 miles.

Editor’s Note: No, this graphic isn’t from today’s run.  I would put that one up, but my GPS is all the way on the other side of my office.  So I’ll post this graphic from last week where I decided that given the choice between another horrible run like that and a business meeting, I would choose death.

Additional Editor’s Note: Here’s today’s run.  Because you really wanted to know.

My wife has informed me that I’m not doing it right.  No, not that…although, now that you mention it…  Sorry, I digress.  At any rate, my wife is a reader.  She reads for work, she reads for pleasure.  She reads books, magazines, blogs, articles, road signs, nutrition labels.  When we buy a new CD, I pop it in to jam with the music.  She pulls out the cover to read the lyrics.

In a recent discussion about my wavering commitment to fitness, Kelley informed me that she had done some research into the P90X program.  Apparently, there is a lot of stuff that you’re supposed to be doing that I’m not.  (Perhaps I would have known this if I read the instructions.)  One of the biggest complaints on blogs about this program comes from the wives of the men participants.  There is apparently a very strict nutritional regimen that participants are supposed to adhere to.  There are discussions about how particular the meals have to be, the calorie counting, how the stuff is so specialized that the women are preparing separate meals for their husbands and the rest of the family.

Perhaps this explains why I an not yet chiseled from stone.  However, I have spent a long time thinking on this issue (at least 30-45 seconds) and have concluded that I’m not the one doing it wrong.  It’s all these other people.  I don’t exercise because I want to be massive (although, that side effect would be welcome).  I exercise so that I can continue to eat all of the junk that I do.

And let’s be logical here.  If I do the regimen the way it’s intended, I’ll become an excellent specimen of human conditioning.  I’ll have to fend off ladies from all directions.  Husbands will be jealous.  There’s no end to the madness.  So, it is my love for you guys that leads me to only give a marginal effort to this health thing.  You’re welcome.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted my health update, so today seems like a good enough time to check-in.  When I last reported (here) my strength was improving and my weight was under control.  The reason for all of this was to meet my New Year’s Resolution to be down to my target weight of 172 by mid-July.  The problem for most people is that once they hit their target weight (if they’ve made it that far), they relax their routine, the discipline slips and the weight returns.

I must admit that once I hit 172, I relaxed a bit.  The pace I was on was intense and I knew that I couldn’t keep it up.  However, I continued the workout program and have even been running more consistently.  The results?  I’m almost back up to my starting weight.  So, when my 30th birthday rolls around in 2 weeks, what assessment should I make of my resolution?  Let’s look at the facts:

1. I am not at my target weight of 172.
2. I do not have washboard abs.
3. I can do more pull-ups and push-ups than when I started.
4. My running pace has dropped slightly. (meaning I’m a bit faster…if the temperature isn’t above 90 degrees)
5. I have reduced my consumption of red meat. (I’m still trying to decide if this is a positive or a negative, Alana.)
6. I have not been asked to be on the cover of any magazines.
7. I have not ripped any shirts because of my bulging biceps.

In my mind, I feel like its OK not staying down at 172, but perhaps I’m just justifying it because I want to feel like I’ve gotten something out of all this effort.  I think I’ll keep up the workout routine for the remainder of the year just to see what the results are.  And besides, you never know when terrorists might take over a building and the only way to escape is to do 10 pull-ups and 50 push-ups.  I won’t let the terrorists win.