Shallow Thinker

I have posted before about the Warrior Dash.  There was a group there taking pictures so that they could turn around and sell those pictures to the attendees for an amazingly high amount of money.  I saw a few of the ones they had of me, and none of them really looked like they justified the cost.  One of my partners in stupidity, however, found this image yesterday.  Oh boy…

Yeah, I look pretty rough there.  If I’m going to pay $50 for a photo, they should have at least added in some muscle, made me look like I was having a much better time, and made me look like I wasn’t collapsing to the ground.  For reference, they did get a couple of others of me during the event.  Unfortunately, I don’t look much better in those either.  It must be the type of cameras they were using.  But at least there was fire in these.

This past weekend I ran in the Jay’s Hope 5K.  My time wasn’t near my best, but I was happy with it considering all of the physical therapy that I’ve been doing and the continuing pain that I have.  But I started wondering how this run compared to some of my official runs and I did what any fun-loving number nerd would do.  I graphed it!

While I don’t have a lot of data points, I think that you can see that in the past two years, I have gotten a bit slower.  This was a little troubling to me and I needed more data.  Luckily, I have my GPS watch with tons of information waiting to be gleaned.  Here are my average mile paces for all of my workout runs included:

Wow.  Those are a lot of dots.  What does this mean?  Here’s what I get from it:

• The trend indicates that my workout runs are getting slower as time passes.
• I am no longer concerned about my official 5K times anymore.
• I should only run in official races from now on.
• Extrapolating to the right, it will take me 20 minutes to run a mile when I’m 40.
• Extrapolating to the left, I could run 3 minute miles when I was 15.

So there are the statistics for you.  I don’t make them up, I just run them.  Except for the next few weeks when I’ll complain about my shins hurting.  And then I’ll start back running again, but at an even slower pace.  But it’s OK because it’s what the data says to do.

I turned 30 last year with warnings from my predecessors that my body would soon start falling apart. Being the respectful person that I am, I listened to my elders, heeded their warnings, and fell apart.  I’ve documented my ongoing problems with my knees and shins, but there’s another issue that I’ve been battling.  And this one is almost equally as annoying.

My underarm sweats like you wouldn’t believe.  And if you’re wondering, yes, that last sentence is correct.  Just one of my underarms, not both.  I will be sitting at my desk in my nice, cool, 72 degree office and feel sweat trickling down my right side.  My left side? Dry and happy.

I usually workout during lunch, so I fortunately have an opportunity to let my shirts dry a little.  Shirts?  Yup, that’s right.  My t-shirt and my over shirt.  Both are soaked by lunch.  It’s lke I’ve been doing one-arm pushups all morning.  Except that I can’t do one-arm pushups.  I wouldn’t mind the niagra falls from my pits if I had a reason for ut.  But alas, the only reason I can find is old age.

Join me next time when I talk about my bad back, arthritis, fiber, and gray hair.

Thus far, I haven’t really done anything special to prepare for the upcoming mud run. I have maintained my normal upper body workouts and started mixing in some runs now that my legs are getting a little better.  Just for kicks, my last two runs have been 4.25 miles just to show that the distance isn’t a problem.  And I have pushed it a little harder on my arm workouts, but I haven’t done any specific, targeted training.

When I checked the mud run website this morning, I noticed that they have released the description of this year’s course (click here and scroll down).  Now I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve gotten into something that will kill me.  The good news is that I’m on a team that has no aspirations to win this event.  In fact, I don’t think that I’ll be the slowest or the weakest member of the team.  So the pace shouldn’t be a problem.  My biggest fear is that I might have to drag one of our team members along the way.  His preparations thus far have been to eat twinkies and to sit still for long periods.  Maybe he has the right idea.

So who wants to place a bet on how many bones I’ll break?  Vegas currently has the over/under at 3.5.

I posted way back in January about an event that only an idiot would do. (Linked here).  As luck would have it, several of my coworkers were stupid enough to join me in the warrior dash.  The event was supposed to be 3.2 miles with about a dozen obstacles.  The number of obstacles was about right, but the total distance was only about two and a half miles.  I’m not complaining at all, but it wasn’t near as bad as I expected.

We’ve already started looking forward to next year.  After some discussions with Brian (my partner in crime in the last picture below) we decided that there really wasn’t any training that we could have done to prepare us and next year (heck year, we’re doing it again!) we’ll just run at it.

Since that one was so easy, we decided to sign up for one that looked a little more challenging.  At the end of this week, we’re going to take on the USMC Mud Run.  4.2 miles and 30+ obstacles.  It sounded awesome when we signed up for it.  But this weekend, they began to post some details on Facebook from some groups that tried the course out.

• “Plan on teamwork or plan to take the penalty.”
• “Work on your upper body…you will need it BIG time!!!”
• “Yes I think more upper body strength is needed for this year! The 10ft wall that everyone is worried about is nothing compared to a couple of the new obstacles!!!”
• “you have to have endurance like never before…the obstacles at the end require you be full of energy and by the time you get to the end you are beat…very physically draining, especially upper body for us!”
• “Save all the energy you can. When I told runners that they were at the halfway point, they thought I was joking. The majority of the second half of the course requires upper body strength. I don’t think many of the teams that ran today were prepared for that.”
• “The course is do-able, but it’s not a walk in the park either. Definitely work as a team. You’ll need each other to complete the course. Yes, upper-body and core ab strength is needed! For new Mud Runners, do not take this course lightly. It is something you have to train for. If you are not running it to make a certain time, then TAKE YOUR TIME and BE CAREFUL. I should know - let’s just say, “Mud Run, 1 - Marilyn, 0″!”

Ah, crap.  I’ve signed myself up for another suicide run, haven’t I?  Here’s to hoping that the pictures below (from the Warrior Dash) are not the last ones of me smiling after a muddy event…

Way back before the Great Blog Famine of 2010, I wrote about some of the physical therapy that I had been going through.  Since that post in early May, I’ve had a rough go of it with the therapy.  After about three or four visits with no improvements regarding my knee or shin pains, my therapist called in the Head Honcho from the facility.  After some poking, twisting, stretching, and watching, he finally came to the conclusion that I’m crooked.  There’s a really cool medical explanation behind what is going on, (seriously. It’s pretty neat if you like nerdy biology stuff) but the gist of it is that when I run, my hips twists really well to one side, but not the other.  All of the pain is from my body compensating in some manner to keep me stable.  Again, it’s really cool medical stuff with some really big names, but I don’t remember them all.

In early July, I started work on realigning my body to where my hips can rotate as they should.  But we couldn’t get everything how it was supposed to be.  So, we twisted, stretched, poked, and looked some more, and the root cause ends up….and some of you ladies probably already knew this…that I have a really tight butt.  That’s right.  The muscles in my posterior were so tight that I wasn’t flexible enough to twist. We shifted my routine and exercises to loosen up the correct muscles, but up through the first of this month, we were seeing very little change in my flexibility.

Until today!  Not only did I get a good report and respond well to the physical tests, I went running this past weekend for the first time in about a year with no shin or knee pain.  As a reward, my therapist told me that I have just a few more exercise to master and that these are the “really hard ones.”  How exciting!  Wait….”really hard ones?”  Man, this stinks.

After the doctor’s diagnosis, I started evaluating my options.  The custom inserts at $300 were definitely out of the question.  I traveled down to my local running store, spoke to a friendly representative, and walked out with $40 arch supports.  Sure, they’re not exactly what the doctor ordered, but at a tenth of the cost, I figured they were worth a shot.

Since I’ve been dealing with the knees for a while, Kelley and I thought that it would be a good idea for me to go ahead and see what the diagnosis is.  After a lot of twisting, pulling, and pushing, the physical therapist said ,”Oh my.  You’re going to be a tough one.”  I’m not sure exactly what that medical jargon translates to, but I think it roughly translates into “I must break you!”  I have four sessions scheduled starting next week.

I’m not sure what the official term is, but as I understand it, my body favors my right side.  All of the joints on my right side are much stiffer than on my left.  The uneven loading causes pain in several areas.  My body compensates for what it interprets as a weakness by adding bone to the joints.  The additional bone causes grinding, which my body compensates for by adding fluid to those joints.  Then I get stiffness in those joints.  Stiff joints means that I compensate in how I stand/run, etc, to alleviate the stress.  In reality, this just pushes the problem to another joint.

I’m basically in an unending cycle of overcompensation.  (That’s what she said!)  I think that the physical therapy will be aimed at evening things out.  I don’t know if this will remove the pain or distribute it evenly across the body.  I should have probably asked that before I signed-up for more sessions.

I visited the orthopedist today to finally get something done about the pain when I run.  I was afraid that he was going to tell me that I’m getting old and that I should just shut my trap.  As luck would have it, there is a perfectly good explanation for my constant crying.  Actually, there are two explanations.

My knees - So, the doctor that diagnosed me with arthritis when I was 24 was probably a little off.  It looks like the real problem is Chondromalacia Patella.  The prescription is physical therapy.  (Wow, that’s going to be expensive.)  I’ve been doing some strength training, but apparently, I haven’t isolated the muscle enough.  What I really need is to find a physical therapist to just show me what to do and I can do them for free on my own.

My shins - The short answer here is shin splints.  The long answer is that everything I had been told about them before didn’t really apply to what I’m experiencing.  Essentially, I have “high arches” and the shoes that would normally work for my foot shape aren’t what I need.  I was prescribe custom arch supports.  So, I meandered on down to the place and found out that they cost $290 for a pair.  Yowza!  Now I’m wondering if I should try to buy some different shoes from the running store.  Those would only set me back about $100.

Crap.  Now I kind of wished he would have told me that I’m getting old and to shut my trap.

Just under two years ago, I put one of my friends on notice.  Last spring, I felt a bit renewed and gave running another try.  I actually felt good and made some decent progress through the summer.  But, in the fall, running started to be much more painful than it was rewarding.  The pain in my legs seemed to go all the way to the bone.  So, I took a month off around Thanksgiving.  I tried again.  The pain returned.  My doctor advised me to take more time off.  So, I focused on my strength training and doing cardio on the elliptical machine.

This week, I decided to try, try again.  I hadn’t run in more than a month and a half.  If there were some type of injury to my bones, surely they’d have healed by now.  My first run was on Wednesday.  It was slow, horrible, painful, and nothing I hoped it would be.  I thought that it might have just been some rust in my system, so I tried again on Saturday.  Slower, more painful, and even less than before.

What’s the cause?  Here are some options:

• I am getting old.  If this turns out to be the case, boy did old age strike fast.  This would explain why all the music I hear is too loud and why I have started to use the phrase “Wipper Snapper.”
  

  This is not my leg. I don't shave mine.

• Too much pressure on my legs.  I have put on some weight in the past year.  I’d love to think that I’m nothing but solid muscle now, but even if that were true, my legs still have to absorb 30 additional pounds each step.  Maybe my legs just aren’t built to carry these big guns that are attached to my shoulder.  (The ever-growing bomb on my belly doesn’t help, either.)
• There is some type of injury.  Well, obviously, it’s an injury because the dang thing hurts.  But you know what I mean.  Maybe it’s something deeper than just muscle soreness.  Even after a long time off, this came back pretty fast.  And, it’s happening in both legs.  So, I’m inclined to think that it’s not a bone issue, but a muscle thing.  Because I have my MD, you know.

But what do I do?  More options:

• Ask everyone I know about this and see if they offer some magical advice.  I should probably start by bugging people who run because they have to know exactly what’s going on with me.  Right?
• Go back to the elliptical for a couple of months and then try it all again.  Just because this didn’t work the first two times doesn’t mean that it won’t help again.
• Forget cardio.  Forget the legs.  Just workout the upper body.  There’s no downside to this, is there?
• Seek medical attention.  No no no.  I don’t mean go see a doctor.  I mean that I should get some medicine to help.  Maybe some steroids or some of that HGH that has worked so well in baseball and football.  The roids will not only help me heal, they will also help me meet my goal of being huge.  The only problem is finding a dealer.

So, there you have it.  If you have any guidance on any of these options, please feel free to let me know.  Especially if your dealer offers first time buyer discounts.

In addition to my attempted journey into the world of deep thoughts, I have been working to find a balance on another front.  This dilemma has plagued me for more than six months.  And now I come to you, my loyal interneterians in search of guidance.

Which is better:  Chocolate Milk or Sweet Tea?

See, chocolate milk has much more protein, but it’s so thick that I can’t drink more than a half-gallon a day.  I can gulp sweet tea all day long, but it’s got all that caffeine.  And, I’ve tried having a gallon of both, but that didn’t turn out very well.  The experiment of mixing them turned out even worse.

Why must life be full of such difficult decisions.  Please, internet, help me choose a vice!

*Side Note* - So, apparently, you can get some “interesting” results when you use google’s image search to find a picture of chocolate milk.  I never knew it was so sexy.  And yeah, don’t search unless you want an education.   I even had the filters turned on.

I have not written in a while because…um….because…I’m very important.  No, no one will buy that.  Because I’ve been very busy!  Well, you probably know better than that as well.  Well, I have been a bit busy, but I suppose that I’m mostly lazy.  So there, you know the truth.  Let’s get on with it, shall we?

I haven’t posted a health update in a while (all previous ones located here), so you are probably wondering if I’ve become a muscle-bound hero, a ball of dough, or a spaghetti noodle of a man.  Sadly, none of these have come to fruition.  I have managed to pad my stats a bit, so here’s the lowdown.

One year ago:
Weight -168
Body Fat % - 17%
# of Pull ups during one workout  - 8
Typical Run Distance - 3 miles
Calories per day - What? Who in the heck keeps up with that?

Today:
Weight -194
Body Fat % - 22%
# of Pull ups during one workout  - 83
Typical Run Distance - 4 miles
Calories per day - More!

I am still doing the P90X workouts and have probably seen more increase in weight and reps this time around.  I’ve also started doing more than just three of the workouts, so maybe that helps, too.

Back in June of last year, I took a picture so that I can have something to compare against.  Maybe in June of this year I’ll have enough courage to post them, but I’d have to warn you that there is a lot of pale chest area showing.  I think the FCC might shut this place down.

At any rate, there are my results for your interpretation.  I think that the numbers speak for themselves.  Of course, no one knows what they’re saying, but they still feel inclined to talk.

Some of you may not be aware, but I am not a doctor.  Surprising, right?  Well, sure, I look like one of those hunks that would play a doctor on TV, but in reality, I’m just an engineer.  Heck, in my last post, I think I even mentioned some of my horrible medical advice to myself.  But, with my lack of medical degree comes a lack of medical knowledge.  Over the past few years, I have developed a few theories regarding my physical well being.  Apparently, my doctor decided to burst a few of those bubbles.  Here are a couple of harsh realities that I have had to face this week.

Theory #1 - My muscles are growing, so should my clothes.
Around March of last year, I hit a low of around 168 pounds.  I knew that there was no way that I could sustain the cardio burn that I had been undergoing, so I decided to exercise in a manner such that when I put weight back on, it would be muscle.  Slowly, I added weight on, and I’m sure that some of it was muscle.  I’m now up to 190 and I’ve even gone up a size in my pants.  I reasoned it that since I was putting on muscle, the expansion was warranted.  Well, apparently my doctor didn’t get the memo.  He said that no matter how much muscle I put on, my waist should remain the same size.  But I’ve really been working out those key waist muscles.  Nope, he wouldn’t buy it.  Dang.

Theory #2 - Boy, this is a healthy breakfast!
I like to eat a hearty breakfast.  A grapefruit and a cup of cereal won’t do anything but make me mad.  I need some sustenance to my grub!  I had cooked a big batch of party potatoes (woo-hoo!) for Thanksgiving, but forgot them at home instead of taking them to my parents house.  So, for breakfast all week leading up to the doctor’s visit, I ate the potatoes, topped with a bit of ham and cheese.  I thought “Hey, this is a hearty breakfast and it’s not all that bad for me.  I sure am a smart fella!”

Once again, the doctor did not receive the memo.  Apparently I had some slightly high cholesterol numbers last year.  So, as we’re talking this time around, the doctor tells me that my exercise will have affected my cholesterol, but the biggest factor is my diet.  And stay away from potatoes.  “WHAT?!  I thought potatoes were a good choice!”  Nay, they are a poor choice.  Something about starches and sugars and blah, blah blah.  For the week leading up to getting my numbers checked, I had been eating the exact thing that would sabotage my progress.  Awesome.  My test results are apparently in the mail to me, so I should see those today or tomorrow and know how horrible of a person I am.

UPDATE: Kelley just called with the results.  Even with the Great Potato Fiasco of ‘09, my bad cholesterol dropped 10 points.  I’ll take it!

Theory #3 - I can run a 5K.  I must be a stud!
Again, the doctor missed the memo on how awesome I am. I told him that I had been doing cardio at least twice a week with most of it being running on the road. He asked how far and I mentioned that I run a 5K as my normal distance and every once and a while, I’ll do a 10K. He looked up at me and said, “Well, once your leg heals, you really need to start increasing your distance.” WHAT?! Increase my distance? It is increased! There are 5K’s. Sometimes 10 of ‘em! Not good enough. He said that if it hurts too much, a gradual increase of 10% per month would be sufficient to start out.

You know, I’m beginning to think that this guy will never be satisfied.  I mean, look at all that I’ve done in the past year.  I lost 15 pounds and managed to gain all of it back, plus a few extra.  You’d think that he would be in awe of my physical prowess.  You’d be wrong on that theory, too.