Some of you may not be aware, but I am not a doctor. Surprising, right? Well, sure, I look like one of those hunks that would play a doctor on TV, but in reality, I’m just an engineer. Heck, in my last post, I think I even mentioned some of my horrible medical advice to myself. But, with my lack of medical degree comes a lack of medical knowledge. Over the past few years, I have developed a few theories regarding my physical well being. Apparently, my doctor decided to burst a few of those bubbles. Here are a couple of harsh realities that I have had to face this week.
Theory #1 - My muscles are growing, so should my clothes.
Around March of last year, I hit a low of around 168 pounds. I knew that there was no way that I could sustain the cardio burn that I had been undergoing, so I decided to exercise in a manner such that when I put weight back on, it would be muscle. Slowly, I added weight on, and I’m sure that some of it was muscle. I’m now up to 190 and I’ve even gone up a size in my pants. I reasoned it that since I was putting on muscle, the expansion was warranted. Well, apparently my doctor didn’t get the memo. He said that no matter how much muscle I put on, my waist should remain the same size. But I’ve really been working out those key waist muscles. Nope, he wouldn’t buy it. Dang.
Theory #2 - Boy, this is a healthy breakfast!
I like to eat a hearty breakfast. A grapefruit and a cup of cereal won’t do anything but make me mad. I need some sustenance to my grub! I had cooked a big batch of party potatoes (woo-hoo!) for Thanksgiving, but forgot them at home instead of taking them to my parents house. So, for breakfast all week leading up to the doctor’s visit, I ate the potatoes, topped with a bit of ham and cheese. I thought “Hey, this is a hearty breakfast and it’s not all that bad for me. I sure am a smart fella!”
Once again, the doctor did not receive the memo. Apparently I had some slightly high cholesterol numbers last year. So, as we’re talking this time around, the doctor tells me that my exercise will have affected my cholesterol, but the biggest factor is my diet. And stay away from potatoes. “WHAT?! I thought potatoes were a good choice!” Nay, they are a poor choice. Something about starches and sugars and blah, blah blah. For the week leading up to getting my numbers checked, I had been eating the exact thing that would sabotage my progress. Awesome. My test results are apparently in the mail to me, so I should see those today or tomorrow and know how horrible of a person I am.
UPDATE: Kelley just called with the results. Even with the Great Potato Fiasco of ‘09, my bad cholesterol dropped 10 points. I’ll take it!
Theory #3 - I can run a 5K. I must be a stud!
Again, the doctor missed the memo on how awesome I am. I told him that I had been doing cardio at least twice a week with most of it being running on the road. He asked how far and I mentioned that I run a 5K as my normal distance and every once and a while, I’ll do a 10K. He looked up at me and said, “Well, once your leg heals, you really need to start increasing your distance.” WHAT?! Increase my distance? It is increased! There are 5K’s. Sometimes 10 of ‘em! Not good enough. He said that if it hurts too much, a gradual increase of 10% per month would be sufficient to start out.
You know, I’m beginning to think that this guy will never be satisfied. I mean, look at all that I’ve done in the past year. I lost 15 pounds and managed to gain all of it back, plus a few extra. You’d think that he would be in awe of my physical prowess. You’d be wrong on that theory, too.