Shallow Thinker

In addition to my attempted journey into the world of deep thoughts, I have been working to find a balance on another front.  This dilemma has plagued me for more than six months.  And now I come to you, my loyal interneterians in search of guidance.

Which is better:  Chocolate Milk or Sweet Tea?

See, chocolate milk has much more protein, but it’s so thick that I can’t drink more than a half-gallon a day.  I can gulp sweet tea all day long, but it’s got all that caffeine.  And, I’ve tried having a gallon of both, but that didn’t turn out very well.  The experiment of mixing them turned out even worse.

Why must life be full of such difficult decisions.  Please, internet, help me choose a vice!

*Side Note* - So, apparently, you can get some “interesting” results when you use google’s image search to find a picture of chocolate milk.  I never knew it was so sexy.  And yeah, don’t search unless you want an education.   I even had the filters turned on.

I have not written in a while because…um….because…I’m very important.  No, no one will buy that.  Because I’ve been very busy!  Well, you probably know better than that as well.  Well, I have been a bit busy, but I suppose that I’m mostly lazy.  So there, you know the truth.  Let’s get on with it, shall we?

I haven’t posted a health update in a while (all previous ones located here), so you are probably wondering if I’ve become a muscle-bound hero, a ball of dough, or a spaghetti noodle of a man.  Sadly, none of these have come to fruition.  I have managed to pad my stats a bit, so here’s the lowdown.

One year ago:
Weight -168
Body Fat % - 17%
# of Pull ups during one workout  - 8
Typical Run Distance - 3 miles
Calories per day - What? Who in the heck keeps up with that?

Today:
Weight -194
Body Fat % - 22%
# of Pull ups during one workout  - 83
Typical Run Distance - 4 miles
Calories per day - More!

I am still doing the P90X workouts and have probably seen more increase in weight and reps this time around.  I’ve also started doing more than just three of the workouts, so maybe that helps, too.

Back in June of last year, I took a picture so that I can have something to compare against.  Maybe in June of this year I’ll have enough courage to post them, but I’d have to warn you that there is a lot of pale chest area showing.  I think the FCC might shut this place down.

At any rate, there are my results for your interpretation.  I think that the numbers speak for themselves.  Of course, no one knows what they’re saying, but they still feel inclined to talk.

Some of you may not be aware, but I am not a doctor.  Surprising, right?  Well, sure, I look like one of those hunks that would play a doctor on TV, but in reality, I’m just an engineer.  Heck, in my last post, I think I even mentioned some of my horrible medical advice to myself.  But, with my lack of medical degree comes a lack of medical knowledge.  Over the past few years, I have developed a few theories regarding my physical well being.  Apparently, my doctor decided to burst a few of those bubbles.  Here are a couple of harsh realities that I have had to face this week.

Theory #1 - My muscles are growing, so should my clothes.
Around March of last year, I hit a low of around 168 pounds.  I knew that there was no way that I could sustain the cardio burn that I had been undergoing, so I decided to exercise in a manner such that when I put weight back on, it would be muscle.  Slowly, I added weight on, and I’m sure that some of it was muscle.  I’m now up to 190 and I’ve even gone up a size in my pants.  I reasoned it that since I was putting on muscle, the expansion was warranted.  Well, apparently my doctor didn’t get the memo.  He said that no matter how much muscle I put on, my waist should remain the same size.  But I’ve really been working out those key waist muscles.  Nope, he wouldn’t buy it.  Dang.

Theory #2 - Boy, this is a healthy breakfast!
I like to eat a hearty breakfast.  A grapefruit and a cup of cereal won’t do anything but make me mad.  I need some sustenance to my grub!  I had cooked a big batch of party potatoes (woo-hoo!) for Thanksgiving, but forgot them at home instead of taking them to my parents house.  So, for breakfast all week leading up to the doctor’s visit, I ate the potatoes, topped with a bit of ham and cheese.  I thought “Hey, this is a hearty breakfast and it’s not all that bad for me.  I sure am a smart fella!”

Once again, the doctor did not receive the memo.  Apparently I had some slightly high cholesterol numbers last year.  So, as we’re talking this time around, the doctor tells me that my exercise will have affected my cholesterol, but the biggest factor is my diet.  And stay away from potatoes.  “WHAT?!  I thought potatoes were a good choice!”  Nay, they are a poor choice.  Something about starches and sugars and blah, blah blah.  For the week leading up to getting my numbers checked, I had been eating the exact thing that would sabotage my progress.  Awesome.  My test results are apparently in the mail to me, so I should see those today or tomorrow and know how horrible of a person I am.

UPDATE: Kelley just called with the results.  Even with the Great Potato Fiasco of ‘09, my bad cholesterol dropped 10 points.  I’ll take it!

Theory #3 - I can run a 5K.  I must be a stud!
Again, the doctor missed the memo on how awesome I am. I told him that I had been doing cardio at least twice a week with most of it being running on the road. He asked how far and I mentioned that I run a 5K as my normal distance and every once and a while, I’ll do a 10K. He looked up at me and said, “Well, once your leg heals, you really need to start increasing your distance.” WHAT?! Increase my distance? It is increased! There are 5K’s. Sometimes 10 of ‘em! Not good enough. He said that if it hurts too much, a gradual increase of 10% per month would be sufficient to start out.

You know, I’m beginning to think that this guy will never be satisfied.  I mean, look at all that I’ve done in the past year.  I lost 15 pounds and managed to gain all of it back, plus a few extra.  You’d think that he would be in awe of my physical prowess.  You’d be wrong on that theory, too.

I’m one of the few people that enjoys working out.  I think that weight training is a great stress reliever and running is an easy way to challenge myself and measure my improvements.  Well, the running part was true up until September.  Around the middle of the month, I started having some pain in my right leg as I ran and a few days after.  I diagnosed myself as having tendinitis, iced the area, and ran some more.  Still pain.  So, I stretched and stretched and stretched, ran some more.  Pain.

With my illustrious medical background (my grandfather was a doctor), I decided to take a little time off from running.  This week, I went back out on the road.  No good.  Still pain.  So, while I was at the doctor for my yearly physical, I mentioned the issue.  Turns up that I’m a lousy self-diagnoser.  The issue isn’t with the muscles in my leg, it is the bone.  I apparently have a small stress fracture or two in my leg.  The most likely cause is the pounding that occurs when running on pavement.  Apparently this is a common injury that can be prevented by using expensive, soft shoes when on the road and by running on a softer surface when possible.  But prevention is out of the question.  What’s the solution?  Stop running for a while.

Now I need to find a good cardio workout that doesn’t involve hopping around (like aerobics) or running.  One option is the elliptical machine at the gym, but I feel like such a soccer mom doing that.  Another option is to take up biking…but this one presents another small issue.  See, long ago, I really thought that biking would be a great exercise for me.  So, I bought a bike, hung it in my garage, and left it there until I sold it about a year ago.  So now I’d have to go to my purchasing department and request another bike.  I don’t think that will go over well.

Boy, this staying in shape stuff is difficult and expensive.  I’m beginning to see the benefits of sitting on the couch.

Today, December 1, I walked into the Doctor’s office for my annual check-up.  I left feeling older than ever before.  Please allow me to share my sorrows.

Last week was Thanksgiving week.  I ate more food than I have in a long time.  And I only got in one workout all week.  I knew going into this appointment that my numbers may not be stellar.  I expected the weight to be a pound or two higher than normal and the cholesterol to be at a peak.  Surprisingly, though, my old, tired feeling did not come from what the doctor said, but what the young receptionist told me.

I signed the book and sat in the empty room waiting to be called back.  A tentative receptionist called to me.  “Mr. Land?”  I walked up to the window.  “We have you scheduled for your appointment on December 4.”  I looked the calendar on my phone.  Yep, December 4 is what I have, too.  Yet there I was, waiting to be checked on December 1.  Awesome.

They say the mind is the first thing to go.

Sore ankles.  My soleus is inflamed.  My knees just can’t take the pounding.  It’s tough to do it alone.  The excuses finally gained enough volume that I pulled myself off the road for the past month and a half.  I had been working up to a 10K (and had actually achieved a decent time), but I was tapped out.  Running became more difficult and painful than it was enjoyable and rewarding.  I became a yuppie and took to the elliptical with its fancy little TV and it’s acceptance of whatever pace I wanted to go.

Then last Wednesday happened.  Kelley was mentioning all the things on our calendar and I was filing the items away in my “to be forgotten” folder.  And then I heard it.  “…and we’re doing the 5K that Saturday…”  My mind took a moment and then threw me back to reality.  “Wait.  A 5K?  For what?”  My wife claims that I gave my approval, but I’m still skeptical.  This Saturday, we’re supposed to run a 5K.  Given the number of excuses that I’ve piled up over the past couple of months, I could easily justify showing up for my T-shirt and then disappearing into the crowd.

But this race is a little different.  It’s for a local group called Jay’s Hope.  Jay’s story alone is enough to make me thankful for the life that I have.  The fact that there are ten’s of thousands of similar stories around our globe completely humbles me.

Jay’s Hope 5k, Catie’s Cure Classic, and other similar events help to raise funds for childhood cancer research.  By participating in these events, you not only get a t-shirt, you help to boost the numbers and the recognition for these events.  For example, in the running world, races are judged by how many people cross the finish line.  By dragging my sorry excuse for a body around the race course, I provide this group with a little boost in their ratings.  And their race looks a little better to the potential sponsors and runners next year.  And the message of childhood cancer is broadcast further.

I don’t expect to win this race.  Heck, I don’t even think that I’ll place in my age group (I’ve moved up to be with the old guys that run a lot).  Judging by the past month, I won’t even come close to my recent personal best that I hit back in May.  But I will finish.  And I will add one more to the total that crosses the finish line. I don’t think that my frivolous complaints about sore muscles will deter me from getting out there and getting passed by small children and elderly couples.

If you’re around, please consider joining me in being a warm body to cross the line.  (http://www.jayshope.org/pdf/Raceregform09.pdf)  If you’re not nearby, please consider contributing towards research for finding a cure for childhood cancer.

It’s been a while since I’ve reported my health statistics, so I figure I’m due for a confession.  At the start of my health initiative, January of this year, I had these numbers -

Weight        - 179 lb
Fat %          - 18.4% (33 pounds)
Muscle %    - 62.5% (112 pounds)

Around May, once I bounced back from the weight-loss competition, my statistics hovered in this range:

Weight        - 172 lb
Fat %          - 16.5% (28 pounds)
Muscle %    - 61% (105 pounds)

So, essentially, I lost some of the fat, but I also lost some of the muscle, too.

Over the past 4-5 months, I have worked-out on a more consistent basis than ever before.  My weakness has been with cardio, but I’ve still managed to run about twice a week.  Unfortunately, I have drifted away from the focused eating habits.  My intent has been to intake more protein for making muscle.  (Boy have I put a hurting on some peanut butter.)  At any rate, here are the statistics:

Weight        - 184 lb
Fat %          - 20.0% (37 pounds)
Muscle %    - 63% (116 pounds)

Wow…is that right?  I actually have more fat on my body now that I did before I started?  Wait a minute…something’s fishy here.  For the first drop, I lost 7 pounds muscle and 5 pounds of fat for a total loss of….7 pounds?  Then, when I gained weight back, I gained 11 pounds of muscle and 9 pounds of fat for a total gain of…12 pounds.

You know, I’m just going to go out on a limb here and say that the scales that I have aren’t 100% accurate.  It’s just a guess, but I think I might be on to something.

Realistically, I think I’m doing OK.  I have not yet reached my goal of “massive,” but I’m getting there.  Actually, I’d bet that most people wouldn’t notice much of a change in my physique, but I can tell that I’ve gotten a bit stronger and a bit more definition in my muscles.  Just the other day I was able to open a jar of pickles all by myself!  Granted, I’ve probably added some unnecessary weight, too.  Kelley has already fired a warning shot across the bow to let me know that I still need to watch the calories that I take in.  But, as a broad overview, I’ve put on about 5 pounds in the last 9 months and I’m pretty comfortable with how I’ve done it.  I would post some before and after pictures, but I don’t want anyone to make fun of my pasty-white skin.

An anonymous source in my office has requested that I join him in a sprint triathlon. For those who aren’t aware, here are the requirements for said event:

Swim - 750 m (0.47 mi)
Bike - 20 km (12.4 mi)
Run - 5 km (3.1 mi)

So, other than the fact that I don’t have a bicycle, tight shorts, goggles, a cool swimmy hat, special shoes or adequate training…is this a good idea?

Photo from user ERM72 on Flickr - Note the goggles, caps, and other swimming stuff. I have mesh shorts.

Which is the better choice for an afternoon drink:

1. A soft drink (coke would have probably been chosen)
2. 1/2 gallon of chocolate milk (a gallon was on sale for $1.99!)

My wife refused to choose one and simply said “I worry about you, John.”

This July, I will leave behind my wild, carousing 20’s and enter the more responsible, calming 30’s.  On the eleventh, life changes from being spontaneous and care-free to structured and full of discussions about retirement  funds and political concepts.  In preparation for this, I made a resolution to get into shape.  For the most part, I’ve stayed on track.  Kelley has also been very supportive of the changes I’ve made in my daily schedule.  Of course, she’s probably about tired of all the changes.  We’re still “tweaking” the routine on a regular basis to find what works best.

I though you might be interested in a little more of the “why” instead of the “what”.  And let’s be honest, if you’re a regular reader of this blog, you probably don’t have much else to do, so you might as well read on.

So this was my thought process.  In my 30’s, I will watch my girls grow from small children into young ladies.  My career will most likely become cemented along a particular path.  The habits that I have formed going in will dictate what the person I am coming out.  By the time I finish my 30’s, I’m probably more likely to say “who cares” about my health than I am to say “let’s pump some iron.”  So, my theory was that this is my last chance to make a major change in my lifestyle.  This is the time to make my stand.

Well, that was my theory.  Yesterday, my boss came into my office and we discussed several topics, eventually covering working out.  He told me about how sore he is from his new routine that includes running and lifting.  His decision to start getting back into shape was explained to me as “You know, I turn 40 this year.  If I’m going to make a change, now’s my last chance to do it.”

Sorry, guys, it looks like I started my fitness routine about 10 years too early.  I think I’ll hit a couple of Mountain Dews followed by a buffet for lunch.  See you guys in a decade when it really matters.

Are you ready?  Maybe I am.  Maybe I’m not.  Here’s my history with the Run4Missions 5k.

2006
My first “official” 5K in several years.  Actually, I think it was my first 5K in a decade.  That includes official, unofficial, amateur, and imaginary.  I jogged a little leading up to the race.  The night before, I loaded up on carbs by eating a Chili’s with my family and the Fenimore clan.  My official time was 25:43.  I finished first in my age group.  I won a trophy.  But the most important detail is that I rocked the headband.

2007
I decided that it was time to get some work done.  I ran at least three or four times leading up to this race.  I was rewarded by dropping over a minute from my time and finished at 24:22.  The downside is that someone brought in some ringers and I didn’t finish in the top three in my age group.  You’ll note from the photos that I also shifted from a headband to a hat.  I did this because I didn’t want my opponents to see my eyes.  It’s kind of like playing poker.  If they could see my eyes, then they’d know which direction I was running.  This was a strategy to always keep them guessing.

2008
Um….well….um….you see.  There was this cake that was sitting all alone.  And my wife made me eat it.  Seriously, I would have set a course record in ‘08 because I trained for at least 2 days leading up to the event, but I was forced to eat this cake.  And then I had to watch a show.  And not just any show, but one where people act like animals.  It was crazy!  I can only hope that the race did not fall apart without me.

2009
The race will be on May 3 at 8:00 AM.  Rain or Shine.  I warn you…I have my game face on.  Well, I guess it’s really my “run” face.  You know, it’s the one where I look pained and out of breath.  Yeah, that one.  I trained for most of February and a couple of days into March.  I was busy in April, though.  At least my body will be rested for the event.  But either way, I’m going all out and I’m bringing home a trophy!  Think I’m lying?  Think I’ll puke my guts up before I cross the finish line?  Well you’re probably right on both accounts, but either way, I’ll be running.

Want in on the action?  No problem, there’s still plenty of time to sign-up.  But what if you live too far away and can’t make it for the race?  No problem there, either.  You can sign-up for just the T-shirt.  That way everyone thinks that you ran, but you never have to exert the effort.  Heck, if you throw in an extra $5, I’ll photoshop some pictures to make it look like you were there.  There’s only one question remaining…Are you brave enough to rock the headband?

I’ve been trying to be good, but this is the last straw!  I’ve read, researched, and even modified some habits.  One of the major changes was to have fruit for snack in the morning and again in the afternoon.  This is supposed to keep me from the candy bars, chips, bear claws, twinkies, and other blessed things.

Photo from Flickr.com

Today, I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business when I decided it was time to eat my apple.  I’m not a fan of the peel, so I peeled it, sliced it, and then began to savor it for all of the chocolaty goodness that it did not have.  Lo and Behold, what’s my reward?  A piece of this thing stuck in my teeth.  (I should probably mention that I can not stand to have things in my teeth.  I mostly avoid popcorn for this very reason.)  But this little fella wasn’t just one of those things that you pick out.  Nay, it was perfectly sized.  Big enough to feel and wreak havoc on my delicate gums, but too small to fish out.  I looked around, but knew I wouldn’t find any toothpicks.  I tried a gem clip, but it was too thick…no luck.  The battle raged on for hours (or at least 15 seconds) until exhausted, the piece came from its hiding spot.

This never happened with a Twix.