Shallow Thinker

On my way to work this morning, I was fortunate (?) enough to get to listen to some of the local news-talk radio station.  After three or four callers voiced their opinion on a recent matter, I began to ponder:

It seems like the only time that white Christians (as in race and religion) talk about human rights is when they don’t get their way.

After the doctor’s diagnosis, I started evaluating my options.  The custom inserts at $300 were definitely out of the question.  I traveled down to my local running store, spoke to a friendly representative, and walked out with $40 arch supports.  Sure, they’re not exactly what the doctor ordered, but at a tenth of the cost, I figured they were worth a shot.

Since I’ve been dealing with the knees for a while, Kelley and I thought that it would be a good idea for me to go ahead and see what the diagnosis is.  After a lot of twisting, pulling, and pushing, the physical therapist said ,”Oh my.  You’re going to be a tough one.”  I’m not sure exactly what that medical jargon translates to, but I think it roughly translates into “I must break you!”  I have four sessions scheduled starting next week.

I’m not sure what the official term is, but as I understand it, my body favors my right side.  All of the joints on my right side are much stiffer than on my left.  The uneven loading causes pain in several areas.  My body compensates for what it interprets as a weakness by adding bone to the joints.  The additional bone causes grinding, which my body compensates for by adding fluid to those joints.  Then I get stiffness in those joints.  Stiff joints means that I compensate in how I stand/run, etc, to alleviate the stress.  In reality, this just pushes the problem to another joint.

I’m basically in an unending cycle of overcompensation.  (That’s what she said!)  I think that the physical therapy will be aimed at evening things out.  I don’t know if this will remove the pain or distribute it evenly across the body.  I should have probably asked that before I signed-up for more sessions.

Our valuable tax dollars were well spent in the state of Georgia’s legislative session, which ended at midnight last night.

From the Macon Telegraph:

Senate Bill 474: Makes it clear that people can keep the body of a wild animal killed by a motor vehicle, unless it’s a protected species. Anyone keeping a bear carcass, though, must notify local law enforcement.

Well, thanks for clearing that up.  You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted that rotting squirrel carcass, but thought that I might get in trouble for taking it home with me.

I visited the orthopedist today to finally get something done about the pain when I run.  I was afraid that he was going to tell me that I’m getting old and that I should just shut my trap.  As luck would have it, there is a perfectly good explanation for my constant crying.  Actually, there are two explanations.

My knees - So, the doctor that diagnosed me with arthritis when I was 24 was probably a little off.  It looks like the real problem is Chondromalacia Patella.  The prescription is physical therapy.  (Wow, that’s going to be expensive.)  I’ve been doing some strength training, but apparently, I haven’t isolated the muscle enough.  What I really need is to find a physical therapist to just show me what to do and I can do them for free on my own.

My shins - The short answer here is shin splints.  The long answer is that everything I had been told about them before didn’t really apply to what I’m experiencing.  Essentially, I have “high arches” and the shoes that would normally work for my foot shape aren’t what I need.  I was prescribe custom arch supports.  So, I meandered on down to the place and found out that they cost $290 for a pair.  Yowza!  Now I’m wondering if I should try to buy some different shoes from the running store.  Those would only set me back about $100.

Crap.  Now I kind of wished he would have told me that I’m getting old and to shut my trap.

Class #8 of 10 is now complete.  My final lecture of the course was last night.  The professor was nice enough to give us our final exam two weeks ago so we all showed up tonight hoping to get our graded finals.  (We got them.)  Class #9 comes to a close tomorrow evening with our final webchat of the semester.  My final assignment for the course is due at the same time that our class starts.

This final assignment has been a bit different.  We are supposed to make a presentation to justify a department within a fictional organization.  I worked through my rough draft last week and have been struggling with my final draft this week.  As I worked on some details this morning, I decided to go back and calculate what I need to make on this assignment in order to get an “A” in the class.  I need a 70.  Not bad.  But what do I need in order to have a “B” in the class? I need a 3. No, not a typo.  It’s a single-digit.

Well now, that takes the pressure off.  Instead of struggling through the assignment in order to make it perfect, I’ve decided to just add some pretty pictures.  Want to see my first slide?

You see that awesome logo at the top?  Yeah, I made it myself.  Because that’s what it takes to earn a 3 in graduate school.

One of the funnest parts about being in grad school is being included on e-mails like the ones below.  You know there’s some kind of story behind this…

I forwarded this out to some of my coworkers for a laugh and, as is likely to happen with engineers, I started a pun war.

From: Brian
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 9:07 AM

Yeah – something’s definitely afoot.

From: John
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 9:08 AM

We could take this story and run with it.

From: Brian
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 10:07 AM

If they’re caught, the thieves won’t have a leg to stand on.

From: John
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 10:08 AM

The police wanted to investigate, but the thieves already had a leg up.

From: Brian
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 10:10 AM

Students on campus are wondering if the community will be able to heel after such a heinous crime.

From: John
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 10:11 AM

Crime certainly has a toe-hold in that area.

From: Brian
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 10:13 AM

These foot puns are getting really corn-y.

From: Jonathan
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 10:13 AM

I’m sending this thread to the guys whose project this was. He’ll get a kick out of it.

From: Andy
Sent: Tuesday, April 27, 2010 1:48 PM

How could ya’ll be so callus?

I’m back to having nothing to write.  How about some free songs as a consolation prize:

Free Mp3s From Amazon

If the link doesn’t work, maybe I can just sing you some songs.

Last night I took my final exam for class #8 in the 10-course master’s program.  I have three weeks and two assignments due in order to complete course #9.  So, in theory, I could finish my degree this summer.  In theory…

I checked the website for the master’s program and they are indeed offering a course this summer.  A course that I have already taken.  In the fall, they will be offering three courses…none of which have been offered since I started the program.  Isn’t that awesome?  So my options were to either wait until the fall and have an abundance of choices or to….well, actually, that was my only choice because I’d already had the summer course.

Seeing my option in front of me, I did what any man would do.  I wrote an e-mail to the program directors and begged for some help.  I realized that it’s difficult to try to curry favor by praising a program while also explaining that you want out as soon as possible.  Either I was articulate, the director had pity on me, or they have contingencies for situations like this.  Whichever it was, I have been allowed to do an independent study for the summer session.

I now have 10 weeks in the summer to do a research project and write a paper.  My course advisers are interested in the topic and have already indicated that the paper could be published.  Now that’s some pressure.  Well, not for me.  It’s pressure for Kelley because she’s going to have to edit this thing.  I hope she makes me sound smart!

I am a sorry excuse for a blogger.  Look at this, I haven’t updated this blog in over a week.  I got on a roll there for a bit, but now I’ve fallen right back off the wagon.

There’s only one way to remedy this situation.  Find something interesting to write about.  But the trouble is, I am not really inspired at the moment.  Perhaps my muse has left me.  Or perhaps my brain is busy with other things.  Or perhaps, deep down inside, I am actually aware of how boring my life is and it causes my brain to subconsciously keep me from writing. Either way, I have been silent for far too long.  So, I break this silence to let you know that I am aware of the silence and that I intend to think of something that will help me prevent similar occurrences.  Unless my brain subconsciously informs me that this is a terrible plan.  Then I’ll have another pointless post.  Like this one.

Have I complained about graduate school in a while?  Probably.  But eh, why not go some more.

If all goes according to plan, I will have one course remaining after I finish this semester.  Conveniently, the illustrious university that I am attending offers a course in my field of study during the summer.  Unfortunately, it is one that I have already had.  So, I e-mailed the director of the program to see what my options are.  There are two.  (1) Wait until the fall and take a different course or (2) do an “independent study.”

Seeing as I’m one of those types that likes to do things immediately and get them out of the way, the independent study seems like a great idea.  The problem is that I will probably have to derive the course description, content, and grading scheme.  I’m all for teaching and grading myself, but doing so in a manner that is approved by the university will probably prove difficult.  So, I have come up with some ideas for my course topic.  See what you think, or add your own in the comment section.  Remember that my degree will be in Engineering Management.

• MWA-605 - (Management by Walking Around) - The course would detail how to walk around an office, make generic statements, and appear way more important than I actually am.
• MCP-514 - “Management Catch Phrases” will work on extending my vocabulary to include the parts of managerial speech that so often eludes the common fold.  From “Strike while the nose is on the grindstone” to “Think outside the mousetrap.”
• MCP-515 - The advanced level of MCP-514 will center around high-level management phrases like “Team Construct” and one of my all time favorites “Hierarchical Analysis“
• ELS-635 - This course details how to utilize extended lunches in order to create a sense of entitlement.
• PTE-538 - People who do crappy work are eventually assigned menial tasks that don’t matter.  Those who excel have more and more work assigned to them.  This is a course in how to continually punish those who excel.

Any other ideas on how to improve my managing skills?

Before I started graduate school, I liked to read a little.  When I say “a little” I mean “maybe a book a year.”  As a matter of fact, I started a page about books that I read so that I could share them with the internets.  But I got so bored with my lack of reading that I stopped updating the page.  When graduate school started, I used that as an excuse to stop trying.  There are some books that I feel that I should read, but I just don’t care for them.  It’s kind of like the movie The Blind Side.  Everyone is raving about how good it is, but I have no interest in seeing it.  Does that make me a bad person?  Probably.  But I’m very content with being a bad person.  The same applies to a lot of books out there.  I want to be cool and be able to discuss stuff with all of my hip, book-lover friends, but I can’t bring myself to do the required reading.

I finally decided to forget about the books that I should read and start getting things that I want to read.  Oh, the good stuff is so refreshing.  I’ve been through a book and a half in the past month.  That’s a record for me!  Granted, I have had to ignore some of my grad school required reading in order to achieve this lightning-fast pace, but I gotta feed my brain some sweets to go along with the bland course requirements.

So what awesome books have captured my brain?  Um….well…..

See, here’s the thing.  You have to promise that you won’t laugh at me for this.  I mean it.

PROMISE!  OK, here they are:

So be honest.  Does this selection make me look nerdy?

Just under two years ago, I put one of my friends on notice.  Last spring, I felt a bit renewed and gave running another try.  I actually felt good and made some decent progress through the summer.  But, in the fall, running started to be much more painful than it was rewarding.  The pain in my legs seemed to go all the way to the bone.  So, I took a month off around Thanksgiving.  I tried again.  The pain returned.  My doctor advised me to take more time off.  So, I focused on my strength training and doing cardio on the elliptical machine.

This week, I decided to try, try again.  I hadn’t run in more than a month and a half.  If there were some type of injury to my bones, surely they’d have healed by now.  My first run was on Wednesday.  It was slow, horrible, painful, and nothing I hoped it would be.  I thought that it might have just been some rust in my system, so I tried again on Saturday.  Slower, more painful, and even less than before.

What’s the cause?  Here are some options:

• I am getting old.  If this turns out to be the case, boy did old age strike fast.  This would explain why all the music I hear is too loud and why I have started to use the phrase “Wipper Snapper.”
  

  This is not my leg. I don't shave mine.

• Too much pressure on my legs.  I have put on some weight in the past year.  I’d love to think that I’m nothing but solid muscle now, but even if that were true, my legs still have to absorb 30 additional pounds each step.  Maybe my legs just aren’t built to carry these big guns that are attached to my shoulder.  (The ever-growing bomb on my belly doesn’t help, either.)
• There is some type of injury.  Well, obviously, it’s an injury because the dang thing hurts.  But you know what I mean.  Maybe it’s something deeper than just muscle soreness.  Even after a long time off, this came back pretty fast.  And, it’s happening in both legs.  So, I’m inclined to think that it’s not a bone issue, but a muscle thing.  Because I have my MD, you know.

But what do I do?  More options:

• Ask everyone I know about this and see if they offer some magical advice.  I should probably start by bugging people who run because they have to know exactly what’s going on with me.  Right?
• Go back to the elliptical for a couple of months and then try it all again.  Just because this didn’t work the first two times doesn’t mean that it won’t help again.
• Forget cardio.  Forget the legs.  Just workout the upper body.  There’s no downside to this, is there?
• Seek medical attention.  No no no.  I don’t mean go see a doctor.  I mean that I should get some medicine to help.  Maybe some steroids or some of that HGH that has worked so well in baseball and football.  The roids will not only help me heal, they will also help me meet my goal of being huge.  The only problem is finding a dealer.

So, there you have it.  If you have any guidance on any of these options, please feel free to let me know.  Especially if your dealer offers first time buyer discounts.